News: The Stupid Report

Yes, that's right, time for another skewed overview of goings-on on the web.

When Stupid Science Gives Stupid People An Excuse To Be Even More Stupid:

• Respected British medical journal The Lancet finally retracted the much and oft discounted 1998 paper which claimed that the thimerosal preservative in vaccines was causing autism. Note that now, two days later, there's no mention of the retraction at all on their home page. They should be embarrassed; the study's statistical methodology has been shown to be bad, and while the editors couldn't have known that studies now show that the discontinuation of adding the preservative to the vaccines has not slowed autism rates, they have done the world's children a disservice by giving high-strung people who think they know better than doctors a reason to leave their kids unvaccinated for potentially life-threatening diseases and spread them to people who are either too young or medically unable to be vaccinated themselves. Mumps and measles may be confined mainly to third world nations now, but guess what? The third world is right next door. (e.g. Haiti)

Intermission:
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Wow, I can't believe those cats are just sitting there...

When Stupid People Have No Excuse To Be Acting Stupid:

• Several Puerto Rican doctors in Haiti to help with earthquake relief are in seriously hot water when pictures came out of them drinking and posing with guns. I realize they're seeing some awful things and everyone needs a way to cope, but if you're going to be a dumbass, don't pose for pictures while doing it. Morons.

Just Plain Stupid:

• An official proponent for California's Prop 8, which banned same-sex marriage, claims gay rights lead to legalized pedophilia. On the dumbass scale of 1 to 10, this guy is approaching infinity. I love this bit:

  Under questioning by Boies, Tam said he was secretary of an anti-gay marriage website that carried a statement that homosexuals were 12 times more likely than heterosexuals to molest children. Tam said he agreed with the statement "based on different literature I have read." He was unable to recall where he read it.

  He probably read it on some other anti-gay website which makes up its own numbers. Or used the same methodology as the completely discredited vaccines-cause-autism paper.
• The Justice Department is considering taking anti-trust action against the college Bowl Championship Series. Seriously, they have nothing better to do with their time? Like, say, prosecute the greedy bastards who helped cause the financial crisis, for starters?
• The US Patent and Trademark Office tosses patent filings that come through their fax machine upside-down.
• Students at at least two Canadian colleges are increasingly failing basic English writing skill tests because they apparently think txtspk is acceptable in the Real World, even when they're getting graded on it. I guess one of the provisions of NAFTA was that the U.S. would also get to export its illiteracy! Yay!
• A study shows that the ban on cell phone use while driving has not lowered the accident rate The author says it's because people are switching to the equally cognitively-dangerous hands-free headsets, but really, I see more people in cars around here with handheld phones than with stuff in their ears. And I don't know what the law is like elsewhere, but in California, you only receive a fine when you get ticketed. It won't be until they actually put points on the offenders' licenses, which would jack up their insurance rates far more than any single ticket, that people will get a real clue.
• So, why can't the IRS just fill in your on-line return with what it knows (since it knows what's on your W-2) and do its own e-file service? Well, why doesn't the government do a lot of the things that seem like common sense to the rest of us? Answer: Lobbyists. In this case, mainly makers of tax preparation software, of which Intuit, maker of TurboTax, is the leader. I really have to take issue with Intuit's math skills, though. Their latest ads claim that they've helped over 500 million people with their tax returns. Not helped prepare 500 million tax returns but helped 500 million people. Hello, there aren't that many people in the U.S.! And while they do also sell a Canadian version, the combined population of the two countries is still less than 350 million. Even if you add in foreign nationals filing returns, you still have to subtract the number of citizens who don't file, like, oh, most of the 40+ million children.
• An alleged dumbass who allegedly stole a 1998 Dodge Durango (wtf?) from a Wal-Mart in Florida (why do these alleged dumbass stories almost always seem to come from Florida?) was found when he allegedly parked the allegedly stolen vehicle in front of his home. What was he doing when police found him? Playing Grand Theft Auto. For real. Of course, the meth police allegedly found on him might explain some of the stupidity, like maybe the choice of a Durango, but seriously. Oh, yeah, he was already out on bail for two other charges of, well, three guesses...
• A microwave gun firing an electromagnetic pulse could become a weapon for police to end high-speed chases. Of course, it would only work on cars with microchips controlling vital functions, which basically means all cars built in the last three decades. But it wouldn't stop the General Lee!