Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Knittin' Crap: My First Month in the Starfleet Fiber Arts Corp

Even though I didn't think I'd make it, I actually did manage to complete all 6 missions in my first month in the Starfleet Fiber Arts Corp on Ravelry, although I didn't play much Minecraft. Barely any. I can count the hours on one hand. Well, maybe both hands.

Division and Mission Requirements My report
Culture: Research the entertainment throughout the history of Earth and craft something representative of it. Discombobulated Avian (see this post)
Command: Design a part of, or a new uniform. Craft something representative of it. Could be anything with the insignia on it or perhaps design your own medal or commendation in crafted form. As a Medusoid, I have hair with a mind of its own, always obscuring my eyes, getting in the way, and it also tries to steal my food before I can get it to my mouth. This headband will help control my hair and prevent my hair from impeding my duties.
Engineering: Make something that will help the engines work faster and more efficiently. Ensign Fuzzykaren from the USS Kitchener reporting in to Chief Engineer Scott.

In order to maximize engine efficiency, repairs and maintenance sometimes have to be performed in small spaces. We have remote-controlled robots to perform that maintenance, but the hands-on approach is sometimes preferable. To that aim, I made a mini-you, with the expertise to perform difficult repairs but the small size to get in any nook and cranny:
Diplomatic: Create something Californian. It could be beachwear, something orangey, Hollywood-esque, etc. Create a good story and we’ll go with it! As has been noted, California is noted for its produce, particularly its citrus fruit, which grows well in the warmer areas of the state. This happy orange must certainly be from California:
Orange You Glad to See Me
Medical: Craft something to aid you in giving First Aid to someone in need. This device can serve multiple functions. Among other uses, it can warm the shoulders and neck in cases of hypothermia, and the soothing color changes have been shown to calm most sentient species in times of distress.
Security: Make something to help you stay/get in shape!I have completed my Security mission in the form of this supply carry sack. I plan to increase my physical activity by carrying as many supplies as I can instead of simply transporting them to their final location.
Grocery Sack

Note that going in, I decided I wouldn't make anything that I didn't already have on my to-do list or that I had absolutely no use for or didn't really want, and I've stuck to it!

Air Journal: Escape to NYC

I had this thing for work in NYC yesterday (that'll teach the recruitment coordinator to use people he's never met before for events!) and since I needed to burn vacation hours and I also needed to get the hell out of town for at least a few days, I flew in on Friday. I won't go into a lot of details, but here's the round-up:

Overheard in New York:
They put us in the corner. Baby ain't put in the corner.
--Woman in Sylvia's Restaurant, Harlem
This was my haul from the Kinokuniya there. You could fit the entire LA Kinokuniya location inside the basement of the one in NYC with room leftover, and then there are 2 whole more floors!
Kinokuniya New York Score

Overheard in New York, Part II:
I love the smell of dead rat in the morning. It smells like... victory!
--MTA worker in the 42nd St Port Authority subway station
And, ZOMG, I thought drivers in LA were bad. Traffic signals, just a vague suggestion to both pedestrians and motorists. Like this primo parking job:
Parking in NYC

Plus I saw a real live NYC subway rat. It wasn't that big.

Oh, and I was knitting on the subway. Because I'm cool'n'stuff. But even though I went into 2 different Dunkin' Donuts (one of them twice), I didn't manage to find a Chocolate Kreme-filled. :(

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

News: Apple Mush

SteveZ is probably running out of stuff to read at work, so I'm posting another news round-up. Unfortunately for him, most of the saved stuff I have is bashing Apple, but there you go.

Almost apropos lolcat:
funny pictures - choose carefully. which of these laptops do you prefer?
see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Lastly, I swear I didn't write this, but I could have, if I knew WTF limewire was.
funny facebook fails - Failbook: Mac vs PC
see more epicfails

Friday, February 17, 2012

Knittin' Crap: Xmas Round Up 2011

I finally delivered the last two Christmas presents last night (hey, what's wrong with Christmas in February!) so here's this year's round-up. I didn't end up making as many gifts as some previous years, but damn, work has had me busy.

Who What Why Reaction
Brad!ST:TOS Finger Puppets
To Boldly Go...  Over There
Because they needed to existAfter he put them on, they immediately declared their love for each other. I would have thought he would have waited at least 60 seconds.
CadenPikachu!Because he's Poke-mad!I got a hug :)
JELump of Coal
Lump of Coal
Because he deserved itHe named it Gary Coalman
SteveGuineasaurus Rex
Guineasaurus Rex
See thisHe thought it was a hamster. I don't blame him. I'm not so good with domesticated rodent differentiation.
White Elephant SwapRoly Poly Headrest
(The Roly Poly cat, not Spoon. Spoon didn't want to give up his headrest after I took the picture, though.)
Quick and sillyThe recipient (Natasha) didn't trade it!

P.S. These were all Knittin' Crap original patterns, except for the Lump of Coal, by Melissa Burt.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Knittin' Crap: My First Mission Report

Last month I reported that I had joined the Starfleet Fiber Arts Corp on Ravelry. Today I turned in my first mission report. This month's Culture Mission was the report to Mr Spock on an historical Earth form of entertainment. My report follows:
Ensign Fuzzykaren from the USS Kitchener reporting in on her very first mission to Mr Spock!

My research into early 21st century Earth showed a strange and rather barbaric fascination with vengeful birds of various species attacking green pigs1. The phenomenon seems to have begun in the Arctic nation formerly called Finland. People were so fascinated by the behavior that a simulation was made for the electronic leashes known as "smartphones" and it soon spread throughout the world, sucking untold hours from the human race.

This is one of the discombobulated avians:
Discombobulated Avian

1These seem to be extinct now, but I must wonder if they were the source of the green ham referred to in the pictorial histories of the (also mononymous) Seuss, PhD.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

News: Awesome Arts'n'Crafts

I should be asleep, but I'm not, so I'm posting instead. Here are some artsy and crafty creations!

And it's not News without a (topically unrelated but mind-blowingly cute) lolcat:

funny pictures - The best hotels provide a little something more than just slippers and a robe...
see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Whiteboard Jungle: Shit My Coworkers Say

The guy a few cubicle rows over, who sounds like (and probably is) middle management, on a conference call from his desk: "You'll have to learn JavaScript, which is like an in-browser version of Java."

So wrong for so many reasons.

Monday, February 6, 2012

News: Random Stuff

I haven't posted a news montage in well over a month now, so here's a quick list of stuff:

Public transit stuff:

Science-ish stuff:

Oh, and so this post won't be lacking a lolcat:

funny pictures - times were tuff
see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!