Monday, December 27, 2010

Knittin' Crap: Lowest Form of Humour

A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it first
-Oscar Levant

The latest in my compulsion to render bad puns in yarn: the Ninja Star:

Ninja Star

Previous offenses:

Sunflower Costume Ball
The Costume Ball
The Catfish

Lemon Shark
The Lemon Shark

Friday, December 24, 2010

News: Holiday Funnies

Funny Pictures - Christmas Cards for Cats
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Funny Pictures - Bunway Security Administration
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And how many people will react to their Christmas presents:
funny pictures - I got it!
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Thursday, December 23, 2010

News: Inspirational Thoughts For Today

job lols - Thought For The Day
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The acronym for the CIA's new Wikileaks Task Force is priceless. Figure it out.

job fails - What We All Want To Say
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job lols - Problem?
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Funny Pictures - Cat Diary
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And the requisite lolcat:
funny pictures of cats with captions
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

News: Cats, Cats, Legos, and Cats


Someone at Apple managed to get paid for making an Antikythera Mechanism (a 2100-year-old device that could accurately predict eclipses) out of Lego Technics.

More cats:

Other: A Creeping Death

The last two months, I've been spending an exorbitant amount of time playing Minecraft. I'm not even going to try to explain the game here, because I'd just make my addiction sound more pathetic. But I will show some pictures of my lovely glass domicile, featuring a jacuzzi/fishing pond on the first floor and an expansive greenhouse on the second:

Minecraft screenshot
Minecraft screenshot

I heard about the game from one of the kernel developers at work. The dude is lucky that he's a couple hundred miles away and that I still haven't figured out how to subcontract ninjas. But for anyone who was expecting a bigger Xmas present from me than they end up getting, well, you will know whom to blame.

P.S. While I may be addicted, I'm nowhere as bad off as the guys who put this together on a multiplayer server: (Yes, I am doing the "Well, I may not have a life, but they have even less of a non-life... or more of a non-life... or however that logic works" thing.)

Saturday, December 4, 2010

News: 'N'Stuff


funny pictures-Fud Dispensr Manual:  Troubleshooting
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I firmly believe that cats possess a genetic knowledge, and this is one of the items. The call of the can opener (not as used now that most cans of cat food and tuna have those pull-tabs) and fear of the vacuum cleaner (something Pandora refused to have) are two others. This one is in the same vein:
funny pictures-Week 1:     Used the Big Eyes face to have humans giving me treats and the best spot on the sofa where the dog isn't allowed.  Week 2:     Have brain-washed the dog into protectin' me 'cause I'm so little.  Week 3:     World domination should be a snap fr
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The Stupid:

funny pictures-The Thanksgiving Turkey is missing you say?
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Not having a hard time imaging Spoon if I actually baked a turkey...

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Spoonerisms: Lap of Last Resort

The weather here is starting to feel a little more like fall, albeit Southern California-style. I have been getting bookended by cats in the bed as soon as I crawl in, and have to use a crowbar do dislodge them enough to get out of bed in the morning.

I was in the computer chair today. Dipity was in the electric lap. Spoon came up, got ready to jump up to the electric lap, saw it was occupied, looked sad, then came and got into my lap. A bit later, Dipity got up, and Spoon immediately vacated my lap, practically leaving skidmarks in the process, and claimed the electric lap.

When Dipity was done with whatever she had been doing, she returned, saw the electric lap was occupied, and got into mine.

So I went over to Graphjam to give form to my frustration. I would have added more variables for things like proximity to electric lap, amount of food in the cat dishes, quality of food in the cat dishes, average direction of quantum spin of subatomic particles in kitties' brains, etc., but, dude, it's Graphjam.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Knittin' Crap for the Whiteboard Jungle: The Zip-it Voodoo Doll

Anyone who has worked in a cubicle maze knows a major downside is having a cube near a perpetually-loud person. As in, louder-than-moose-in-heat loud. As in, booming-into-the-phone-so-loudly-they-could-hear-you-without-the-phone-even-if-they're-in-the-next-state loud. During one such sonic onslaught, I came up with the idea for the zip-it voodoo doll. So, when an engineer in our group who was also in the direct path of these skull-vibrating vocal reverberations announced he was leaving, I decided to make the zip-it voodoo doll prototype as a going away gift. It seemed to be a big hit. Let's face it, there's at least one inveterate loud-mouth wherever you go.

Zip-it Voodoo Doll Zip-it Voodoo Doll

I plan to make a stop-motion demonstration video soon eventually maybe.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Whiteboard Jungle: What's In Those Chips?

Someone has the munchies... They replaced the vending machines in the break rooms at work a couple of weeks ago. The new ones are pretty scary. They look like they're going to become sentient any day now and turn on the human race. Actually, there were a couple days last week when I was kind of wishing they would do it sooner rather than later, but anyway.

This is a photo of the actual picture on the snack machines. That guy looks seriously stoned to the extent where he has the major munchies. I mean, come on. It's the same picture on all the floors I've been on. Someone had to decide this was the best picture to put on the machines. The mind boggles.

Spoonerisms: Envy

Seriously Relaxed Seriously, where can I get a human-sized electric lap? How much more relaxed can she get?

Monday, November 8, 2010

Other: New Word of the Day

I coined a new word today.
  • shitany (n): a litany of shit.
    Example: A permanent entry in my shitany is the fact that Support Group X tends to provide as much support to our group as a 10-year-old bra with shot elastic.

ETA: I even managed to find a real-world use today.

I was having an unscheduled sync-up with my manager today, and after I went through a shitany of blocking issues (where issues == people) keeping me from getting stuff done, she asked if I had anything positive to mention.


Friday, October 29, 2010

News: Ninjas, Cats, and Ninja Cats

(Disclaimer: ok, none of this comes close to being "news," but it's still more relevant than anything they show on Fox News these days.)


job lols - So That's Why I Took A Pay Cut...
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job lols - They're Always Watching....
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funny pictures-I'm sorry I destroyed your rebel base.  Is it time to eat yet?
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funny pictures-The ways of The cat are Mysterious ..but anyone who's ever owned a cat for longer than half an hour could have predicted this.
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funny pictures of cats with captions
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A music video starring kittehs!:

Ninja Cats!:

funny pictures of cats with captions
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funny pictures-ninja cat cannot ...FOUND....
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funny pictures of cats with captions
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Friday, October 22, 2010

Other: Ouchie

The Teenager Audio Test - Can you hear this sound?

Created by Oatmeal

I can actually hear it, and yes, it hurts, and trust me, 25 is a very distant memory. Dipity, sitting nearby when I played it, could also hear it and got up with this WTF look on her face. Of course, she's a cat. And she's 2.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Metro Journal: Fr00t L00ps

fr00t l00ps In case anyone was wondering, no, I haven't heard back from the LA County MTA since my last missive. Current working theory is now that I have been placed on their "ignore her and maybe she'll go away" list. Aka, the "fruit loops" file.

News: Farcebook and More!

Facebook nonsense:

Note I am still 100% Facebook-page-free. So I'm either perfectly well-adjusted or I'm Ted Kaczynski.

Click-through for more:
funny video game photos - farmville vs farms
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Completely unsorted complete nonsense:
Too true:
funny pictures of cats with captions
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This reminds me of a dream I had once featuring Bob Dole (I am not making that up):

I wonder if this comes in cubicle-size:
You Can't Tell Me What To Do!
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Why there is no god... Because I can't reach the tacos from the hot tub.

The US Department of Agriculture has been bombing Guam with dead mice stuffed with acetominophen in an effort to control the invasive brown tree snakes.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Knittin' Crap: Holiday Knitting Season Is ON!

funny pictures-Look lady, I'm just saving  *someone*  from an  "Ugly Christmas Sweater"  predicament.
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Yes, it's that time of year again, where I start to go a little nuts making holiday gifts. Work has me really busy, and I've started a little later than I intended, so come December, I might get sleep-deprived again. I'm also having a harder time coming up with ideas for some people this year, although I'll figure something out.

I've also had a "request." Normally I only take requests if it's reasonable and you're a really, really, really, "take me to the vet when I have to put my kitty to sleep" good friend. Otherwise, it usually turns into "No, I won't make it for you but I'll give you lessons" + annoying smiley face. (Said smiley face is even more annoying in person.) However, there is a loophole case: if you give me an idea that makes me curious enough to experiment and also is not onerous enough to take the rest of my natural life, I might get suckered into it.

News: Stupid and Stupider

Teh stupid, it burns:
  • An idiot-meets-cop story that's actually from some place other than Florida! An Ohio woman walked up to a police officer, asked if there was a curfew, and then asked if there was an open warrant out for her. No and yes! There must be a better way to find out if an arrest warrant exists for you. I wonder if there's an app for that.
  • Of course, that doesn't mean the idiot locus has left Florida. This guy got pulled over on a traffic stop. The officer noticed the unmistakable smell of marijuana coming from the car, so he searched the man, and found two baggies of assorted drugs between his buttocks.
    When the bag fell to the ground, Roberts immediately said, according to the report, “The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is.”

  • Tell Me About It... Wait- For Reals?
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    That just leaves me speechless...
  • Southern Baptists are not allowed to practice yoga, while "Other Christian leaders have said practicing yoga is incompatible with the teachings of Jesus." You know, I've read the Bible a couple times and I never saw anything along the lines of "Thou shalt not tie thyself into a knot."

FCC (Fuzzy Cat Censorship):
funny pictures of cats with captions
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funny pictures-Nothing to see here folks
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Whiteboard jungle action:

  • work fails - Project Managers Are Prepared For Everything!
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    Can I get some extra spell points while you're at it?

  • That guy? The one at the computer? That's totally me. I have said that exact same thing before. Java is a bloat-hog and if you're only going to run your app on one platform ever, WRITE IT IN SOMETHING ELSE.

  • jobs fails - Ninjas Who Do Not Appreciate You Taking Their Things
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    Dude, I need to figure out where they hired their ninjas!

And to end that on a positive note: - When work feels overwhelming, remember that you're going to die

Friday, October 1, 2010


Ok, most of this really isn't "news" so much as part of the backlog of what my geeky, ailurophilic, somewhat cracked self thinks was kewl.

job fails - Useful
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--I'm pretty sure more than one person is willing to eat around the new life-form.

  • Mass transit encourages exercise. Well, duh, I already could have told people that, although perhaps "requires" would be a better word, as the bus rarely drops you off at the closest parking spot.

funny pictures of cats with captions
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