Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Pandora's Box: The Legend of Rocket Butt

Pandora starred in a very short-lived series of comics published exclusively (and I was assured by the editors, reluctantly), in The California Tech.

Here's the story of Rocket Butt. Legible transcript follows. Reading it may or may not improve the experience.
Rocket Butt
  • You know, I think cats are always negatively represented in the media. It makes me mad. Take comic books for example.
  • There are no feline superheroes. There's Underdog, Mighty Mouse, but no Supercat. The only popular feline image is of Catwoman, and she's a thief.
  • Well, I'm going to stand up for my rights! I'll become the first feline superhero! Well, that's enough standing.
  • But what kind of super powers do I have? Well, I'm cute... I'm very intelligent...
  • Whoops. Excuse me. I had beans for dinner. How embarassing. Oh, no! They're about to light the frosh bonfire! AAH!
  • Whoa! Good thing this tree broke my fall.
  • Wait. This gives me an idea. I can be Rocket Butt, fueled by environmentally safe methane.
  • But "Rocket Butt" isn't a very flattering name. I'll call myself Awesome Kitty Powered by Environmentally Safe Rocket Butt (tm). Awesome Kitty for short.
  • But back to my mission. I'll fight the glom across the hall. If I can't get to my room one more time... Geez.
  • I'll protect the Dabney way of life!
  • Well, if you'll excuse me now, I have to go make my Spandex costume. Oops. Excuse me.
Cartoon Pandora lives on in my illusion scarf:

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