Knittin' Crap: Gurgle Yummy Yarn Gurrrgle

I was sitting on the couch, picking up stitches along the front edge of my Vogue Cardigan from Hell¹. No one enjoys picking up stitches. For one thing, it's never a 1:1 ratio of stitches, so you have to do some math to figure out how to space the stitches.² Now, normally I'm very good at math, but no matter how many times I do the math when calculating picking up stitches, I always get it wrong and have to rip back the entire row and start again, usually more than once. That means that I end up with a bunch of ripped out yarn, which usually ends up hanging over the edge of the couch and getting on to the floor...

That's where Spoon comes in. I was sitting there, redoing the pick up row for, oh, the third or fourth time, when I felt a tug. Mr Chubby Butt was trying to disembowel my yarn. I shooed him off³ and went back to work.

Awhile later, I reached a, um, wet spot. Ok, whatever. I looked to see how much he had slobbered on, and then I came to this chewed-off end. I had finally picked up the row with the right number of stitches and was in the middle of purling the stitches of the picked up row front & back, which is a pain, and I was staring at this slobbery yarn end thinking, "There is no way in hell I am going to rip out this half row."⁴

Spoon, looking sooo innocent afterward

... and plotting his next assault

This cardigan is cursed, I swear it.

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¹A horribly written pattern. I was so pissed off that I swore to beat it. Or finish it.
²Considerate and well-written patterns will usually do this math for you. However, see footnote 1.
³Actually, I think I yelled, "Cat!" I think they know by now that I only say the word at that volume and with that enunciation when I'm displeased, which means they ignore me anyway. "Oh, yeah, she must be pissed at that other cat."
⁴It's usually considered best practice only to start a new end of yarn at the beginning of a row in knitting, rather than joining in yarn in the middle of the row. I can probably get away with it better as this row abuts a picked-up edge anyway, which will make it easier to sew the ends back in.