Saturday, January 10, 2009

Knittin' Crap: Gurgle Yummy Yarn Gurrrgle

I was sitting on the couch, picking up stitches along the front edge of my Vogue Cardigan from Hell1. No one enjoys picking up stitches. For one thing, it's never a 1:1 ratio of stitches, so you have to do some math to figure out how to space the stitches.2 Now, normally I'm very good at math, but no matter how many times I do the math when calculating picking up stitches, I always get it wrong and have to rip back the entire row and start again, usually more than once. That means that I end up with a bunch of ripped out yarn, which usually ends up hanging over the edge of the couch and getting on to the floor...

That's where Spoon comes in. I was sitting there, redoing the pick up row for, oh, the third or fourth time, when I felt a tug. Mr Chubby Butt was trying to disembowel my yarn. I shooed him off3 and went back to work.

chewed Awhile later, I reached a, um, wet spot. Ok, whatever. I looked to see how much he had slobbered on, and then I came to this chewed-off end. I had finally picked up the row with the right number of stitches and was in the middle of purling the stitches of the picked up row front & back, which is a pain, and I was staring at this slobbery yarn end thinking, "There is no way in hell I am going to rip out this half row."4

Spoon, looking sooo innocent afterward
... and plotting his next assault

This cardigan is cursed, I swear it.

1A horribly written pattern. I was so pissed off that I swore to beat it. Or finish it.
2Considerate and well-written patterns will usually do this math for you. However, see footnote 1.
3Actually, I think I yelled, "Cat!" I think they know by now that I only say the word at that volume and with that enunciation when I'm displeased, which means they ignore me anyway. "Oh, yeah, she must be pissed at that other cat."
4It's usually considered best practice only to start a new end of yarn at the beginning of a row in knitting, rather than joining in yarn in the middle of the row. I can probably get away with it better as this row abuts a picked-up edge anyway, which will make it easier to sew the ends back in.

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