I'll wear it occasionally, I suppose, but if I have a string of bad luck when I do wear it, I might go to a priest and have it exorcised.
Me: This sweater is damned! Evil! Could you exorcise it, please?
Priest: ...
Me: No, really! See, it seriously makes my butt look big!
Priest: Yes, well, I'd have to get permission from the archdiocese. That can take time.
Me: Oh. Even if it makes my butt look really big?
Priest: Oh, yes, I see... Why don't you just frog it and knit something else like a normal person?
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