Knittin' Crap: SFAC November 2014

This month, Q apparently got himself kicked out of the Q Collective again, and we have to help him adapt to being human.

Mission	Report
Command: Demonstrate your ability to follow orders by crafting something following a pattern without changing it.	Q needs to learn discipline and mental focus. Practitioners of some Old Earth religions used a visual tool called a “mandala” to help them focus. Making a mandala was often a painstaking process requiring exacting detail. I tried to demonstrate this kind of discipline to Q by following the directions for Sophie’s Garden exactly, changing colors on every row.
Engineering: Craft something that requires some decision making (something modified, or a pattern with different options).	Footwear. So many choices. Of course, Starfleet personnel are rather limited when they’re in uniform, but Q isn’t in Starfleet. He will soon have to learn to worry about things such as adequate toe room, arch support, and proper width, in addition to styles dictated by the occasion. If he ever decides to play the old Earth sport basketball (or decides to become a musician in the late 20th-century Earth style known as “punk rock”), he might need some Chucks. Then he’ll really be faced with lots of decisions, like color, low- or hi-rise, fabric… Eventually he’ll learn firsthand about the psychological stress of ”decision fatigue.” And that’s after a single pair of shoes.
Medical: Craft something to ward off aches and pains - e.g. make a stuffed doll to help Q feel better or craft bandages tor something to keep him warm.	Q frequently expressed exasperation with humanity (at the same time exhibiting a fascination that wouldn’t allow him to stay away) while he was Q. Now that he’s human, he’ll quickly learn the race is not only a source of mental pain to Q but to its own members as well. In other words, I give him 3 days tops before he gets a roaring headache, probably the throbbing forehead vein kind. Of course, another odd feature of the human race is the fact that many aches and ailments can sometimes be treated just as effectively by psychological tricks as by actual chemical medications. We call this mental trickery “the placebo effect.” This headband doesn’t actually have any inherent physical ability to reduce headache pain, but now that he’s human, a medical officer just needs to tell him that it will, and odds are his headache will dissipate shortly. He’ll just look a little dorky while he’s wearing it, but since he will almost certainly have given half the ship their own headaches by then, they’ll need the laugh (another effective treatment for minor ailments).
The Brig: Where Neverending Missions Finally End	This prisoner should have been a simple reform job, but it just refused to get buttoned up until I showed it what nice buttons I had picked out for it.

Sophie's Garden designed by Dedri Uys.

Crochet Baby Converse designed by Suzanne Resaul.

Cardigan pattern by Amanda Griffiths

Knittin' Crap: SFAC October 2014

This tour opened with a promotion. I am now Captain of the USS Kitchener!

We apparently have a guest, the flamboyant Luxwana Troi, so most of our missions revolved around keeping her happy and out of trouble.

(Post delayed because the Medical Mission disappeared into a Temporal Rift and only just reappeared.)

Mission	Report
Command - Craft a head covering for Lwaxana.	This headband may not be, um, haute couture enough for Lwaxana, but I have no doubt she can work it better than Dip, who just looks annoyed at being a fashion model. Or Lwaxana can try to wear Dip on her head, but I doubt that would work out too well.
Engineering - Craft something to cover Lwaxana’s torso.	Not many people these days can pull off a cape, but Lwaxana is certainly one of them. Therefore, I made this, um, cape for her.
Medical - Craft something to keep Lwaxana’s hands steady and/or warm.	This basket was designed to provide multiple uses for Luxwana. She can use it as a receptacle to hold various items, she can even put her hands inside for additional warmth, and if she gets on Captain Picard’s nerves, the many straps can be used to, um, subdue her.
Tactical - Craft a fabulous accessory for Lwaxana to wear!	This, um, accessory can be worn in a variety of ways. On the arm, around the neck, over the hair. It can even be a meta-accessory, accessorizing a small quadruped species with which Lwaxana may accessorize herself, as seen below. (In this case, a not-that-small quadruped.)

Knittin' Crap: SFAC August 2014

Mission	Report
Command: Craft something that will make your job easier. A cushion for your chair? A shawl to keep the draft off in your office? A mug cozy to keep your hands comfortable while sipping a bottomless raktajino?	Something that would make all that research I need to do easier would be…. The Internet.
Medical: Continue your research on Phoenar plant life from earlier in this tour by determining whether it is edible for humanoids and what its nutritional value is. Is it a good source of vitamins and minerals? Is it poisonous to Andorians? Does it promote brain development in Vulcans? Do some tests to find out and finish your report on Phoenar plant life.) (Repair a project or finish a WIP.)	The phloem of the Phoenar plants inspired me to finish this addition to my uniform: At the beginning of the month:
Tactical: Assist the Tactical officers by crafting something to protect the ship or alert you if something goes wrong!	When the ship’s alerting system goes off these headbands will constrict…. painfully. Very hard to miss.
Away Mission - 3-month-long project	I have received a secret communique from an agent from the Romulan government who has information that could be vital to future diplomatic relationships between his empire and the Federation. He wants me to meet him on Vino Prime, but his situation is so precarious that we cannot make actual verbal contact or be caught sending and receiving and transmissions. However, we should still be able to make visual contact, although because we will be under constant surveillance, messages must be hidden in plain sight. This special garment may look like a simple, repeating abstract design, but to the knowing eye, the design can carry secret messages. If my Romulan counterpart can find his own method of steganography, this mission could lead eventually to improved relations between the two governments. Completed mission:

Knittin' Crap: SFAC July 2014

Mission	Report
Diplomatic: Converse with the Aldeans and the Caldonians to discover why this radiation is important to them. Counselor Troi has indicated that they seem to be withholding something… Craft something to trick them OR gain their trust.	The Caldonian eyes and visual cortex seem to respond to colors in a way similar to humans. They subconsciously find cool colors calming. This panel, used as a backdrop for Counselor Troi, with its soothing colors arranged in subtly undulating lines, will make them more amenable to being honest.
Engineering: Find the source of the energy readings by conducting a search. There are three standard search methods used: triangulation, radial, and standard sweep. Choose one of these three and craft something that has a triangular shape, is worked in the round, or is worked in stripes to show the results of your search.	I began analysis with a radial scan, but then the computer got in a mood and… told me to take a number. I have a feeling I’ll be waiting awhile for the final results.
Medical: Help the medical team with their assessment of the radiation threat.	I propose we send in this Red Shirt brainless human clone to test the effect of the radiation on humanoid tissues.
Tactical: Craft something that protects the user from the environment.	The undulating wiring of this headgear should interfere with any wave-form radiation and render it harmless.
Shuttle: Due to an unexpected radiation spike from Phoenar Prime, our ship has experienced a warp core breach. If we cannot fix the problem in under an hour, the engines will overload. Craft a speedy solution for the warp core breach. Hurry! Your solutions must be completed in under one hour or else - BOOM!	This sun hat probably won’t prevent the warp core breach, but at least it will help shade my eyes from the blast when I’m down on Phoenar Prime.

Jujuba pattern by Norah Gaughan
Headband stitch pattern and sun hat barrette motifs from Japanese book Lace Crochet Best Motifs 238

Knittin' Crap: SFAC June 2014

I only managed to turn in one mission for last month, and I didn't even manage to turn it in last month (it fell into a temporal rift and popped out a couple weeks later.) I'm already doing better for July, though. Stay tuned!

Command mission: Work with a partner to complete a project. Have a fellow officer help you choose a pattern to go with an orphaned yarn or recommend a yarn to go with a pattern you really like, then craft the cooperative project. Please state your partner officer in your post and explain how they helped you create the final project. This is a great mission for getting to know the officers on your ship.

My report:

For this mission, I teamed with Ensign Chibz, showing him a selection of appropriate-weight cabling and asking him to pick two which would be appropriate. I initially had my doubts when he seemed to like the lime green a little too much, but it worked out in the end.

Pattern by Nancy Marchant

Knittin' Crap: SFAC May 2014

May was a shore leave month, but we still had a mission:

Your Mission: Help Jadzia prepare for her wedding by crafting a bridal talisman for luck.
Something Old – complete a WIP or frog and rework a project that is in time-out.
Something New – craft a new project Something Borrowed – craft a project that is “borrowed” from another officer. Use a pattern, color scheme, stitch pattern, craft, or other idea that was inspired by an officer in Starfleet. This does not necessarily have to be something from their projects or queue. It can be just something mentioned in conversation. This project may be a WIP or a new project. You will need to explain how the idea was borrowed from someone else.
Something Blue – craft anything blue. Other colors are allowed as long as the project is predominantly blue. WIPs are accepted for this project.

My report:
Something old: This soft top will be cool to wear on a tropical honeymoon planet:

Something new: This bowl can hold Jadzia’s daily jewelry so it is close at hand:

Knittin' Crap: SFAC April 2014

I've been remiss in posting April's missions, but better late than never.

Mission	Report
Away Mission: A 3-month-long large scale project	We have detected yet another planet inhabited by a sentient humanoid race living in conditions akin to Earth’s Stone Age. I would like to study them in person. As remaining hidden from such a population is paramount to preservation of the Prime Directive, I will need foolproof camouflage. As we all know, using holography technology is the main method for doing so, in spite of its countless and sometimes catastrophic failures. I propose, therefore, becoming part of the scenery. This special bio-garment will make me appear to be part of the flora of the planet.
Command: Honor Starfleet captains by crafting something to represent one of these captains, or the captain of your own ship	Easily, the most storied Captain in Starfleet history was James T. Kirk. With this mission report, I make reference both to his ingenuity in battle and mercy in victory, when he was taken by the Metrons to do battle with a Gorn captain:
Medical: Craft something to conceal our medical technology or something to disguise anything that would look alien to them.	As there is no way for Medical Corps personnel to get a hypospray near the Veridians, they want to try dispensing essential medications orally. This bowl prototype is infused with antibiotics. By placing water or water in it, small amounts will leach into the contents and be consumed thusly.
Tactical: Craft something to represent the Veridian system as a whole or any of its six planets.	I chose to examine the sun of the Veridian system. I used both visible-to-human-eye filters and special radiation filters:
The Brig - Finishing UFOs (UnFinished Objects)	This prisoner was supposed to make a mission report last month but failed. I hoped some time in the brig would be an appropriate lesson about meeting deadlines, and I threw in an invasive quadruped for extra incentive. It's been rough, but the prisoner has found the prefect duty detail:

Kefalonia pattern by Marie Wallin
Needle felting bowl kit from Purl & Loop
Star pattern by Karolina Eckerdal
Cat Bed pattern by Caroline Hegwer

Knittin' Crap: SFAC March 2014

I didn't get much done in March. Well, I did, but most of that was work on my 3-month Away Mission, due at the end of April, which I will probably actually finish, but it has been consuming almost all my free time.

Mission	Report
Engineering - Make something again that gave you difficulty before. Explain what you’ve learned that made it easier (or better) now.	(My Engineering mission disappeared temporarily in a Temporal Rift, delaying its completion.) Sometimes in Engineering, we need to get in tight spaces to make repairs. Our hands may fit, but they lack room to move and function. I had previously attempted to make a minibot technician glove, but my first attempt failed as the minibots were uncooperative due to incompatible control circuitry. I made some design modifications and began a re-implementation last month, which disappeared into a temporal rift shortly before completion. However, it has now escaped from the temporal rift, oddly enough, completed and fully functioning.
Science - Craft something to represent one of the sciences (utilizing the parameters outlined above) Botany - use plant fiber or a botanical motif	I performed research in the field of botany by investigating the properties of the popular Earth bast fiber “cotton.” This report exhibits its crispness in fine textiles:
The Brig - Finish a WIP	This prisoner has been holding out for almost a year, but it finally bloomed.

Basic glove pattern by Anna Gilmour

Crochet square from 238 Best Crochet Patterns

Azalea stitch pattern from Marianne Kinzel

Knittin' Crap: SFAC February 2014

Mission	Report
Diplomatic - Craft something to represent who - or what - you might meet on the Shore Leave Planet. (Feel free to cross fandom lines for this mission)	While I knew about the Shore Leave Planet’s unusual offerings, I’m afraid I let my mind wander a bit while I was transporting down, and the planet picked up on that. I had just been perusing some late 20th century literature in that highest of art forms, the “comic book,” namely “The Tick,” which was based on the true story of a crime-fighter who dressed as a blue arachnid species which appears to now be extinct. Next thing I know I was staring eye-to-eye with his occasional crime-fighting partner, the Man-Eating Cow. She looked a little displeased. We did manage to have a pleasant conversation. Me: Nice weather here. Man-Eating Cow: Moo. Me: You been here before? Man-Eating Cow: Moo. Me: Had to eat any evil-doers lately? Man-Eating Cow: Moo.
Medical - Craft something to help you tell your ship’s doctor about something you did on shore leave.	That all-you-can-eat sushi bar seemed like a good idea at the time, you see, until I realized I can eat quite a lot of sushi. Here was the first course:
Science - Craft something to show what is unique or unusual about the planet you’ve chosen for your shore leave.	Having pored over the ships logs of the NCC-1701, I thought I’d take this opportunity to visit the site of one of its classic missions: Gamma Trianguli VI. This is the tropical planet whose inhabitants had been trapped in a state of arrested development by their “god,” a seemingly-omnipotent computer named Vaal. Captain Kirk valiantly freed them from the computer’s tyranny so they could evolve as a civilization. The civilization they evolved into is a free-wheeling tropical gambling mecca centered around their new god: money. But they may continue to change as time goes on. After all, one of Earth’s greatest centers of learning and culture was founded on casino money, but who doesn’t visit Earth without stopping at the wonderful galleries and theaters of Las Vegas? Back to Gamma Trianguli VI, though. The flowers there, while beautiful, can also be deadly if not handled properly, as several members of Kirk’s original away team learned. Here is one such flower:
The Brig - Another WIP finally gets finished!	This prisoner was recruited to complete a mission the last tour, but it stopped halfway through and gave me the finger. I gave it a good attitude adjustment and now want to see it out the door.

Original (non-man-eating) cow pattern by Izumi Sasaki
Miso pattern by Mitsuki Hoshi
Phalangees pattern by Jodie Gordon Lucas

Knittin' Crap: SFAC January 2014

January is an off-month, but there were still a couple things to do.

Mission	Report
Shuttle - Craft something to lift the spirits of your crew mates by making them laugh. Craft something silly. Please feel free to include silliness in your mission story as well.	I’d heard rumors that produce was missing from the ship’s vegetable garden, but as I have a brown thumb and hadn’t touched anything, I paid no attention. Then, walking through the garden today, I spotted something… out of the ordinary: Rabbits have acquired stealth technology. No carrot is safe!
Brig	Until the start of this staryear, this prisoner had no direction, wandering this way and that through life. I smoothed out the rough edges and now its perambulations make it an interesting but useful character.

Bunny pattern by Abbygurumi
Vest pattern by Hitomi Shida

Knittin' Crap: SFAC December 2013

Still fighting off the Borg this month!

Mission	Report
Command - Learn a new technique, try a new pattern, or use new information in some way to isolate, imprison or destroy the Borg Queen.	As the Borg mastery of technology outstrips our own and means we risk having our own technology turned against us, I decided we should go lower-tech. Using the genetic engineering lab, I modified a flying squirrel to allow it to be trained and coordinated for group attacks. Sending hundreds of these furry creatures zooming at the Borg queen will no doubt overwhelm her so the humanoids can rush in and take her down. I also added bioluminescent genes to the white fur, just because.
Engineering - Conduct your own down-and-dirty repair: Make something that takes less than a day’s work (8 hours), or fewer than 200 meters of yarn.	This small, finger-controlled robot can get into tight places for fine repairs. Unfortunately, he’s a bit of a daredevil, and while he made crucial repairs, he sustained his own injuries.
Medical - Create a hat or other headwear to help shield your mind, and cover implant removal scars.	This fastener can be used to deftly hold remaining hair in place to conceal healing or balded areas. The floral decoration serves as a further distraction from the reason such concealment is necessary.
Science - Replicate hull plates, or any of the component parts of the hull which might need to be replaced - in the form of flat things or things crafted in parts or multiples.	This piece of 4 times the thickness of normal fabrication methods would work well for a repair where extra strength is needed.
Tactical - Craft something in the bright colors of the explosion.	I managed to capture a very good holo-image of the explosion of the Borg Cube. And, even though it seems to go against the laws of physics, the explosion was also square-shaped. I will have to do additional calculations to try to figure that one out.
The Brig - Finish a UFO (note: this is actually my Brig report from November, but I forgot to put it in that post, and I didn't finish any UFOs in December anyway)	This prisoner was found colluding with the pictured invasive quadrupeds on a plot to take over early-21st century Earth. After four years in the Brig, it has finally given up the plot, especially after realizing the quadrupeds’ attention span was too short to take over much of anything other than a warm lap for more than 10 minutes.

Flying Squirrel pattern by Izumi Sasaki
Flower and crochet edging from Japanese book Best Crochet Motif Pattern 238
Totoro chart by brella
World Afghan pattern by Kay Niederlitz