Friday, May 15, 2009

Other: Trailer Park

I finally went to see Star Trek today. I won't say what I thought, since I'm not sure, although they certainly found a tidy way to fend off the purists saying, "That's not in the canon of TOS!" I won't say anything else so as not to add spoilers. I did manage to do 22/3 ft² of knitting, though (actually more like 1/5 ft² but who's counting? It was still 1326 stitches. And I was eating Milk Duds instead of knitting the first half hour), and it actually looked good once the lights came on.

Anyway, there were about six gazillion trailers before the film. I'll try to remember all of them and give my 10-words-or-less review, after having watched 2-minutes-or-less of each.

  • Year One: Stupid. Jack Black needs worthy vehicles. This ain't one.
  • Transformers: Whatever-Subtitle-They're-Using-Instead-of-Part-2: Big, Loud and Stupid, Part 2.
  • Terminator: Salvation: Worth dragging my butt to theater.1
  • G.I. Joe: Big, Loud and Stupid, the Rip-Off.2
  • Pandorum: From the makers of Resident Evil... Waste of digital-age-celluloid.3
  • Extract: Office Space in a factory. Affleck actually looks funny!

I think I got them all. So many movies look alike these days, it can be hard to tell.

Other upcoming movies:
  • Land of the Lost: If Sam Raimi wanted to Drag Me to Hell, he could just make me watch this.
  • Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: I feel take-it-or-leave-it about the series, but the theater today did have a poster with Harry's face which said simply "HP6." Took me a minute to realize Hewlett-Packard hadn't introduced a new line of computers. Cheez Whiz marketing.
  • Drag Me To Hell: The Evil Dead movies were funny. This just looks sadistic. I hate sadistic movies, whether the torture happens to the characters or the audience.

1The smart thing about the Terminator franchise: Even if they prevent the annihilation of the human race in one film, some handy time traveler can come back, undo it all, and make way for more sequels!
2This trailer came about two after the Transformers one. I was confused, because it looked stylistically so much like Transformers. That's not a good thing. I was never a real fan of G.I. Joe, and although the suits look, um, "cool," the mechanistic, super-human quality they imbue looks derivative and strips away a human aspect. It ends up feeling like just another generic "robot" movie.
3Pandora also takes offense at the name.

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