Knittin' Crap: My First Month in the Starfleet Fiber Arts Corp

Even though I didn't think I'd make it, I actually did manage to complete all 6 missions in my first month in the Starfleet Fiber Arts Corp on Ravelry, although I didn't play much Minecraft. Barely any. I can count the hours on one hand. Well, maybe both hands.

Division and Mission Requirements	My report
Culture: Research the entertainment throughout the history of Earth and craft something representative of it.	Discombobulated Avian (see this post)
Command: Design a part of, or a new uniform. Craft something representative of it. Could be anything with the insignia on it or perhaps design your own medal or commendation in crafted form.	As a Medusoid, I have hair with a mind of its own, always obscuring my eyes, getting in the way, and it also tries to steal my food before I can get it to my mouth. This headband will help control my hair and prevent my hair from impeding my duties.
Engineering: Make something that will help the engines work faster and more efficiently.	Ensign Fuzzykaren from the USS Kitchener reporting in to Chief Engineer Scott. In order to maximize engine efficiency, repairs and maintenance sometimes have to be performed in small spaces. We have remote-controlled robots to perform that maintenance, but the hands-on approach is sometimes preferable. To that aim, I made a mini-you, with the expertise to perform difficult repairs but the small size to get in any nook and cranny:
Diplomatic: Create something Californian. It could be beachwear, something orangey, Hollywood-esque, etc. Create a good story and we’ll go with it!	As has been noted, California is noted for its produce, particularly its citrus fruit, which grows well in the warmer areas of the state. This happy orange must certainly be from California:
Medical: Craft something to aid you in giving First Aid to someone in need.	This device can serve multiple functions. Among other uses, it can warm the shoulders and neck in cases of hypothermia, and the soothing color changes have been shown to calm most sentient species in times of distress.
Security: Make something to help you stay/get in shape!	I have completed my Security mission in the form of this supply carry sack. I plan to increase my physical activity by carrying as many supplies as I can instead of simply transporting them to their final location.

Note that going in, I decided I wouldn't make anything that I didn't already have on my to-do list or that I had absolutely no use for or didn't really want, and I've stuck to it!

Air Journal: Escape to NYC

I had this thing for work in NYC yesterday (that'll teach the recruitment coordinator to use people he's never met before for events!) and since I needed to burn vacation hours and I also needed to get the hell out of town for at least a few days, I flew in on Friday. I won't go into a lot of details, but here's the round-up:

Overheard in New York:

They put us in the corner. Baby ain't put in the corner.
--Woman in Sylvia's Restaurant, Harlem

This was my haul from the Kinokuniya there. You could fit the entire LA Kinokuniya location inside the basement of the one in NYC with room leftover, and then there are 2 whole more floors!


Overheard in New York, Part II:

I love the smell of dead rat in the morning. It smells like... victory!
--MTA worker in the 42nd St Port Authority subway station

And, ZOMG, I thought drivers in LA were bad. Traffic signals, just a vague suggestion to both pedestrians and motorists. Like this primo parking job:


Plus I saw a real live NYC subway rat. It wasn't that big.

Oh, and I was knitting on the subway. Because I'm cool'n'stuff. But even though I went into 2 different Dunkin' Donuts (one of them twice), I didn't manage to find a Chocolate Kreme-filled. :(

News: Apple Mush

SteveZ is probably running out of stuff to read at work, so I'm posting another news round-up. Unfortunately for him, most of the saved stuff I have is bashing Apple, but there you go.

• We are what we buy, aka "don't make fun of Apple or I'll get you because you're hurting my feelings!"
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  see more Monday Through Friday
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  I still can't tell if he meant that as homage or because that damn beach ball is also his experience with Macs.
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  see more TDW Geeks
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  see more Monday Through Friday

Almost apropos lolcat:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Lastly, I swear I didn't write this, but I could have, if I knew WTF limewire was.

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Knittin' Crap: Xmas Round Up 2011

I finally delivered the last two Christmas presents last night (hey, what's wrong with Christmas in February!) so here's this year's round-up. I didn't end up making as many gifts as some previous years, but damn, work has had me busy.

Who	What	Why	Reaction
Brad!	ST:TOS Finger Puppets	Because they needed to exist	After he put them on, they immediately declared their love for each other. I would have thought he would have waited at least 60 seconds.
Caden		Because he's Poke-mad!	I got a hug :)
JE	Lump of Coal	Because he deserved it	He named it Gary Coalman
Steve	Guineasaurus Rex	See this	He thought it was a hamster. I don't blame him. I'm not so good with domesticated rodent differentiation.
White Elephant Swap	(The Roly Poly cat, not Spoon. Spoon didn't want to give up his headrest after I took the picture, though.)	Quick and silly	The recipient (Natasha) didn't trade it!

P.S. These were all Knittin' Crap original patterns, except for the Lump of Coal, by Melissa Burt.

Knittin' Crap: My First Mission Report

Last month I reported that I had joined the Starfleet Fiber Arts Corp on Ravelry. Today I turned in my first mission report. This month's Culture Mission was the report to Mr Spock on an historical Earth form of entertainment. My report follows:

Ensign Fuzzykaren from the USS Kitchener reporting in on her very first mission to Mr Spock!

My research into early 21st century Earth showed a strange and rather barbaric fascination with vengeful birds of various species attacking green pigs¹. The phenomenon seems to have begun in the Arctic nation formerly called Finland. People were so fascinated by the behavior that a simulation was made for the electronic leashes known as "smartphones" and it soon spread throughout the world, sucking untold hours from the human race.

This is one of the discombobulated avians:

---

¹These seem to be extinct now, but I must wonder if they were the source of the green ham referred to in the pictorial histories of the (also mononymous) Seuss, PhD.

News: Awesome Arts'n'Crafts

I should be asleep, but I'm not, so I'm posting instead. Here are some artsy and crafty creations!

• An amazing Huichol beaded VW Bug.
• Airagami -- the art of balloon-sculpting
• And what would happen if someone tried to draw famous tweets. No, seriously.
• Best Sleeping Bag Ever:
  
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And it's not News without a (topically unrelated but mind-blowingly cute) lolcat:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Whiteboard Jungle: Shit My Coworkers Say

The guy a few cubicle rows over, who sounds like (and probably is) middle management, on a conference call from his desk: "You'll have to learn JavaScript, which is like an in-browser version of Java."

So wrong for so many reasons.

News: Random Stuff

I haven't posted a news montage in well over a month now, so here's a quick list of stuff:

Public transit stuff:

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  So true, sick of dorks on the bus listening to music over their phone's tinny speaker (dude, it's optimized for speech, not your low-end thumpin' bass or your high-end whiny break-up music. Get earbuds, dumbass!
• And this is from last year, from the now (sadly) defunct Infrastructurist website (although their old content is still available): Are We Drastically Underestimating the ‘Social Cost’ of Carbon Emissions?
• Stupid criminal ON public transit: Man without fare punches bus driver and causes accident. And gets arrested. And since he probably wasn't trying to get to the city jail, also does not reach his intended destination.

Science-ish stuff:

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• And a really useful (and serious) PDF about How to Debunk a Myth is linked in this article.

Oh, and so this post won't be lacking a lolcat:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!