Saturday, March 24, 2012

Knittin' Crap: Starfleet Fiber Arts Corps, Month II

I've turned in all six missions again this month, although I still need to finish an older UFO (Unfinished Object) for extra points. This month Starfleet was visiting Orion, that planet of green people.

Division and Mission Requirements My report
Diplomatic: The trading business is big on Orion, including the trafficking of slave girls. The Orion Syndicate is the main trading organization including honest traders, pirates, and smugglers. Illegal operations including theft, raids, extortion, and kidnappings were rampant. Craft something to aid in preventing and defending against the illegal happenings. This fuzzy, colorful creature was found on the planet Arodnap Prime. While normally docile and harmless, it does have an unusual ability to sense deception and malice in other beings, and it responds by running rolling over to the wrongdoers and clamping on with its teeth while emitting a high-pitched shriek. Their small size means they can hide undetected until a crime takes place.

Of course, in our tests, they’ve also been known to attack cheating spouses when they overhear them lying to their mates about their whereabouts for the evening, or subordinates fudging their progress reports to their superiors, so the creatures must be deployed with care. Or not.

It is interesting to note that there are archaeological traces of an ancient sentient race on Arodnap Prime, with the latest buildings being large, defensive structures where almost every small opening was sealed to the outside, but with no apparent damage from war or natural disaster. We can only wonder at this point about the source of their demise.
Attack Kitty
Tactical: Make something green to fit in/ scout among the locals if needed. This small charm may appear to be an invaluable, meticulously carved piece of jade, but in reality, it can also generate a holographic projection altering the coloration of the wearer, making it much simpler to blend in to Orion society.
Dragon Charm
Medical: Orion women are known to give off pheromones that excite males of almost any species (Vulcans, however are immune). Spikes in adrenaline and even disruption of ones sleep cycle, not to mention the negative effect on other females are all a side effect of these chemicals that the orion females produce. Craft something to keep people “chill.” Head over to science to prevent this from happening at all. Craft something calming. Sheep are very docile animals, and there’s also an old Earth practice that people having trouble relaxing or falling asleep should count sheep. This is sheep #1 to help in that exercise:
Demonstration of relaxation on male feline test subject:
Cranky Spoon + Friend
Security: The Orion males are quite the specimens to behold. Even though they are subservient to the females, they could most likely take down our human counterparts. Mission: Craft something to help beef up or give our men courage and not feel quite so intimidated. Bears represent strength and courage to many Earth cultures through the centuries. This ferocious-looking bear will inspire Starfleet men to great feats, but it also houses a device which emits waves which suppress thoughts of fear.

However, to function properly it must be worn attached to the head, thus I have attached a handy device which will secure to hair. If men aren’t brave enough to buck gender stereotypes by wearing barrettes, their hairy butts have no place in Starfleet to begin with.
Rilakkuma barrette
Science: The dancing of an Orion female is intoxicating to males. This can be counterproductive for when male Starfleet officers need to take care of missions without their minds being clouded. Break out the chemistry set and find out what makes those pheromones work and find a possible way to counteract them. Head over to Medical to treat the side effects. Mission: Craft something that counteracts these pheromones and protects males from losing their senses. Starfleet scientists have genetically modified this common Orion ornamental vine for this month’s Science Mission. The pollen from the flowers in the altered vine will seek out and preferentially bind to the Orion female pheromones, thus preventing their uptake by humans.
Command: Even though it appears that Orion females are slaves to the men, in actuality, the females control everything through the use of their skill of seduction and highly potent pheromones. Make something representative of a strong female in either Star Trek, history, or literature. Where No Woman Has Gone Before
'Nuff said.

Pattern sources:
  • Dragon charm pattern from a Japanese amigurumi charms book
  • Sheep finger puppet pattern by Jellybums
  • Rilakkuma pattern from Japanese Rilakkuma craft book
  • Vine pattern from Japanese crochet motif and edgings book

1 comment:

spajadigit said...

You are *busy*!!!