Knittin' Crap: Lowest Form of Humour

A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it first
-Oscar Levant

The latest in my compulsion to render bad puns in yarn: the Ninja Star:



Previous offenses:

The Costume Ball

The Catfish

The Lemon Shark

News: Holiday Funnies

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And how many people will react to their Christmas presents:

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News: Inspirational Thoughts For Today

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The acronym for the CIA's new Wikileaks Task Force is priceless. Figure it out.


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And the requisite lolcat:

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News: Cats, Cats, Legos, and Cats

Cats:

• While this cat is... impressive, those owners need about 20 swift kicks in the pants by a ninja wearing steel-toed boots for letting it get this far:
  
• How to pet a kitty, make sure to click through for full lesson or you'll regret it in the middle of the night!
  
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• What your cat would say if it could talk.
• 
  
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Legos:
Someone at Apple managed to get paid for making an Antikythera Mechanism (a 2100-year-old device that could accurately predict eclipses) out of Lego Technics.

More cats:

• 
  
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• And the truth about kittens...
• And this kid looks like a precocious dumbass:
  
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Other: A Creeping Death

The last two months, I've been spending an exorbitant amount of time playing Minecraft. I'm not even going to try to explain the game here, because I'd just make my addiction sound more pathetic. But I will show some pictures of my lovely glass domicile, featuring a jacuzzi/fishing pond on the first floor and an expansive greenhouse on the second:




I heard about the game from one of the kernel developers at work. The dude is lucky that he's a couple hundred miles away and that I still haven't figured out how to subcontract ninjas. But for anyone who was expecting a bigger Xmas present from me than they end up getting, well, you will know whom to blame.

P.S. While I may be addicted, I'm nowhere as bad off as the guys who put this together on a multiplayer server: (Yes, I am doing the "Well, I may not have a life, but they have even less of a non-life... or more of a non-life... or however that logic works" thing.)

News: 'N'Stuff

Tranportation:

• An infographic of pedestrian deaths in cities around the world. Atlanta of all places is #1 at nearly 11 deaths per 100,000 residents. LA is only #3. (It's not clear if this is an absolute list of all cities or just a random sampling.)
• Amtrak and Greyhound are both actively adding wi-fi to their buses and train cars.
• Interesting take on the inconsistency and poor training of TSA agents (probably not their fault -- regulations seem to change every 5 minutes and who can keep up?) by someone with large amounts of titanium in his body.
• Some people are pushing for child-free flight options, but I'd be satisfied if parents just had to pass a simple common-sense child control test first.
• And an extremely catchy song about the TSA:
  

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I firmly believe that cats possess a genetic knowledge, and this is one of the items. The call of the can opener (not as used now that most cans of cat food and tuna have those pull-tabs) and fear of the vacuum cleaner (something Pandora refused to have) are two others. This one is in the same vein:

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The Stupid:

• In this article about America's obsession with smartphones, this guy Doug seriously has issues, proving once again that modern technology is affecting the course of natural selection, because I don't see how he would have survived this long without the thing. I fear for his offspring if the battery ever dies.
• And today's stupid criminal, courtesy of Ohio... Also unlikely candidate for prolonging her gene pool.

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Not having a hard time imaging Spoon if I actually baked a turkey...