Spoonerisms: Spoon vs. Dipity

Now that Dipity has settled in and seems comfortable enough just to be herself, I decided it was time to do a side-by-side comparison of her and Spoon. It turns out that in many ways they are very similar in personality, much more so than Pandora and Spoon were.

	Spoon	Dipity
Size	Still around 16 lb.	A little over 11 lb. when she was at the vet in September. She still has that long, lanky Siamese body, but she has a slight bulge around the middle.
Intelligence	Still not very	Ditto. And I thought Siamese were supposed to be smart.
Bossiness (scale of 1 to 10)	3	When she's hungry and out of food, 9
Relationship with electric lap
Camera Hogginess	Still the king...	...but she's a contender
Reaction to vacuum cleaner	Still is halfway under the bed as soon as I take it out of the closet	Also tries to hide under the bed, which leaves Spoon between a rock and a sharp place
Reaction to strangers	Afraid to snuggly in 5 minutes or less	Must... sniff...
Leadership rank	The Omega Cat	Beta, which means she's the de facto alpha cat

Spoonerisms: Separate Vacations

Dipity, the day after Spoon returned. Note he was conked out all of about 3' away, on the edge of the couch, when she got in the donut hole.

Last week, Spoon had a sleepover! My friend Steve had to give his cats away because of family stuff, but with his wife out of town and his toddler staying with grandma during the week, I thought he might like a temporary cat and Spoon and Dipity might like the break. Steve's friend Mark was staying there, too, so Spoon would get extra attention! I dropped him off Monday night and he hid under the couch. He didn't mind when people reached under and petted him. I think he was just really agoraphobic. I actually thought he would adjust faster and if I'd known it would take him almost a day to come out on his own at all, I wouldn't have put him through that. But eventually he adapted and was very, well, Spoon. When I picked him up Friday evening, he still got a little freaked by the ice-maker in the fridge, but he was pretty cool with everything. Meanwhile, Dipity really liked being an only cat. She clearly enjoyed having the run of the apartment, because she spent a lot of time running around the apartment.

So when Spoon came home Friday night, they were both a little surprised. Dipity didn't even realize right away what happened because he would walk by her and she wouldn't know to get upset. By Sunday, though, they were about back to where they were before Spoon's vacation. Dipity doesn't come out of the bedroom as often as she did while he was gone, but she also seems unwilling to give up all the freedom and will still wander out to the far reaches.

Really, she's very silly. She doesn't usually look where she's going, so she ends up face-to-face with Spoon. Unfortunately, she usually responds by getting excessively aggressive. There are still too many aggressive episodes, but there are some positive (or at least not negative) interactions. Last night they both slept on the bed, one snuggled on each side of me. This was not without difficulty. Dipity would growl at Spoon whenever he moved. He was clearly trying to be careful. Of course, I had to be extremely careful when I needed to rearrange myself, because then the cats would need to rearrange themselves, and Dipity would get defensive. Still, they didn't fight, at least not until Spoon got up to leave and Dipity felt the need to chase him out of the bedroom for good measure, and then later, un-snuggle me to jump off the bed and chase him out when he tried to return.

This morning Dipity attacked Spoon's tail while he was curled up in my lap, where he'd settled a couple minutes earlier after she turned him back from the electric lap. That got her squirted and closed in the bedroom for awhile so they could calm down. While she was in there, Spoon settled in the electric lap. I let her out and she ended up jumping up next to Spoon and had time to stare out the window and lick her tail before she realized he was 6" away from her, which caused her to growl slightly. She stayed calm and Spoon stayed put, so I gave them a couple of cat treats to reinforce their calm behavior. Spoon even started grooming, which means he is oblivious to what's going on around him but also means he really throws his weight around literally, and Dipity still stayed pretty calm. I suspect the best I can do now is be patient, reward calm interactions, and keep the spray bottle handy to halt excessively aggressive behavior.

Spoonerisms: Wimpy, Wimpy, Wimpy

January 2007, day 1 of the electric lap. Spoon discovers its joy the first time. Pandora waits in line for the first time after trying to glare him out of it proved unsuccessful. (Spoon had a boo-boo on the back of his head at the time, hence the collar. I believe he had had an altercation with the fold-out couch.)

I got the electric lap almost three years ago to soothe Pandora's stiffening joints. She spent several hours the first time and would get up for short breaks. All was groovy until, later that day, Spoon also discovered the electric lap. Pandora jumped up, all ready to resume her nirvana... and realized there was now a line. Bummer. Spoon ended up spending more time in the thing, I think mainly because, even with all his extra subcutaneous insulation, he likes to be really, really warm, warmer than Pandora usually liked with all her supercutaneous insulation.

Flash forward. Dipity is totally digging the bed of bliss. She has already started to compete with Spoon for the most outlandish position possible. She has also discovered the queue. Yesterday she just charged up there, looked out the window a bit, turned to the lap, and discovered it was occupied. She didn't even growl at Spoon. (I think she might think of this as "his" territory.) She settled down, I presume to wait or just to act cool. I watched with academic interest for a bit, then set up the camera to video to record the nuances of their interaction while I got up and left the room to take care of other stuff. When I came back about 5 minutes later, Spoon had vacated the bed! Dipity was still sitting there, looking totally innocent. I watched the video. She didn't even do anything to scare him off! He is a seriously wimpy cat.

Spoonerisms: Close Encounters of the Sharp Kind

Dipity has gone vertical, like here on the top of the dresser, places Spoon just can't jump to anymore.

I've been leaving the bedroom door open while I'm at home the past few days. I thought maybe this would encourage Dipity to come out and explore more, something she'd been doing a lot of, although as soon as she encountered Spoon, she'd usually make a hasty retreat to the bedroom, which often provoked Spoon into chasing her because, well, I don't know what goes on in his head. Of course, if he then corners her, she'll usually charge him and he'll usually run away. I have had to get the squirt bottle a couple times when he just didn't get the clue. But she recovers from those incidents pretty quickly, usually coming out again as soon as Spoon is out of sight. I think that's a good sign, as she's not cowering in terror long after the fact, although it could just mean she has about a 30-second long memory window. We just don't seem to be making much forward progress anymore. She hisses when she sees him, etc.

(Excuse me while I go force him to stop chewing on the blocking pins holding a sweater sleeve in place.)

Anyway, last night I went out and forgot to close the bedroom door when I left. When I got home, everything seemed fine. No mass destruction or anything, although Spoon did have a small scratch on his big, white nose. Of course, that could mean nothing. He's always sticking it in dangerous places, like the machinery in the fold-out couch, or the blocking pins for my sweater. Or another cat's claw...

Spoonerisms: I Am Siamese If You Please

ZOMG! There's totally different stuff to see on the other side of this window!!!!

Dipity has become much more social and outgoing and, well, Siamese in the past couple of weeks. She now generally talks to me when I come into the bedroom, snuggles with me a couple times a day, and in the past couple days, she's even become bold enough to follow me outside the bedroom, then proceeds to investigate some. Of course, she still hisses at Spoon if he gets too close, and I think he takes her forays into "his" territory as invitations to reciprocate by barging into "her" territory (the bedroom) when she goes back, so I have to watch him and keep him from running in there after her. I don't think he's trying to be aggressive in a dominating way; he just wants to interact with her. Unfortunately, he kind of comes across like a stalker. "I know I stare at you all the time, but I just know we're soul mates! Wait! Where are you going!? Wait for me!"

So, while she still keeps Spoon at paw's length, she is definitely feeling more at home, whatever cats think "home" is.

Other: My To-Do List

• Get more exercise.
• Get rid of this stupid low-level summer cold that's been making my throat scratchy for the past few days. It's too hot to drink tea with honey.
• Get started on Xmas presents. (One is mostly done.)
• Teach Dipity about keyboard etiquette.
• Get Dipity to stop scratching unsanctioned scratching items. (An herbal spray I got at the pet store seems to be helping.)
• Get Dipity to realize that Spoon is harmless and impossible not to like, so I can get the damned litter box out of my bedroom.
• Install FreeBSD on my laptop because upgrading to Fedora 11 makes mplayer playback suck ass.
• Try playing Fallout 3 again to figure out how to get out of the Vault without getting killed by rad rats.
• Convince Dan to write a program for graphing amigurumi crochet patterns. Bribe him with some dorky Harry Potter item if necessary.

Spoonerisms: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Dipity hanging out

Yesterday, I did the trading places thing for the first time in awhile, closing Spoon in the bedroom so Dipity could explore the rest of the apartment. Explore she did, getting into lots of nooks and crannies before settling on the 2-½' carpet-covered cat furniture under the window. I let the experiment go on for about an hour, but Spoon was making pitiful noises. I was hesitant about letting him in, because even if he didn't approach her directly, he would still be between her and the bedroom if she wanted to flee. But I let him out and got the water bottle ready just in case, and while she seemed a little tense, she didn't make a break for it. I did have to rein Spoon back a couple times, especially when, after awhile, she decided she did want to go back to the room.

I think Spoon does think of the bedroom as her territory, which is why he's very cautious in there. He's a little bolder in the rest of the apartment because that's his territory. And Dipity feels the same way. The real problem occurs when she runs, because Spoon is compelled to chase her. But I kept my hand on his ruff when Dipity sped up, and we didn't have an incident.

That evening, I decided to try to lure her out of the bedroom when I took her food dish into the kitchen to refill it. I set it down a few feet outside the bedroom door while she was watching, and she did come out to eat. When she was done, she poked around a little bit. I let down my guard and next thing I knew, she was running past Spoon for the bedroom and he was running after her, and swatting at her backside before I could grab him. He seemed a little contrite afterwards, but the damage was done.

This morning she wouldn't go near the open bedroom door, and I couldn't even get her closer than 3-4' feet from Spoon with the treats. I had just fed her an hour earlier, though, so I will try again this afternoon when she gets hungry again.

sigh

I may have to get an escape-proof halter for Spoon for outside-the-bedroom encounters.

And then she made a major stink in the litter box at 4:45AM. I sprayed a crapload of air freshener, but even then it just smelled like flowers and crap for several minutes. (Cats really hate the air freshener, too, I think largely because it sounds like a hissing cat.)

Spoonerisms: Closer... Closer... Ok, Stop!

Thursday I managed to get Dipity to come within 6" of Spoon voluntarily, using a trail of kitty treats. That ended when he leaned over to try to sniff her head and she hissed and stepped back. He looked all sad and left.

Today I got her even closer, within about 3". That ended when they were both leaning down to eat their respective treats and their ears brushed, and Dipity hissed and drew back. We do seem to be making progress, even if it is in very small increments. She does still growl or even hiss when she sees him, but the close encounters are going well. He never growls and he'll even usually back away and leave when she openly hisses at him when he's less than a couple feet away. I hope she gets the message that she's in charge. Particularly since I'm tired of having her litter box closed in my room. She usually makes stinky around 4 in the morning.

Anyway, I need to get some more treats tomorrow. I'm almost out.

Spoonerisms: Pwned!

Last night, I was on the bed socializing with Dipity. I had left the door open, and sure enough, Spoon stuck his head in. He was moving in slowly and cautiously, with that perpetually confused look on his face, but Dipity started the low growl. He made his way to the bed, and as soon as he jumped up, about a yard from Dipity, she hissed and lunged at him. He immediately ran away and she ran under the bed.

She just needs to realize that she's already in charge and he's perfectly harmless. Poor boy, he just wants to be dominated by another alpha female.

Spoonerisms: That Aggravating Beauty

Such a star I've never seen, she's as pretty as a queen
She's as perfect as an angel from above
If she'll only be my wife, I'll live happy all my life
With that aggravating beauty Lulu Walls
"Lulu Walls," The Carter Family

Dipity stares at Spoon...

... while Spoon smooshes his face and stares at... nothing.

I'm wondering if I shouldn't have named Dipity "Lulu Walls" instead.¹ Oh, she's mostly a good kitty, but she's still stubbornly scared of Spoon. Yes, scared of Spoon. He doesn't really do anything overtly aggressive, although he does try to get closer, and the wimpy voice of his should be a dead give-away, but she's hissing at him under the door right now.

I'd like to think we're making a little progress. I can lure her to within a foot or two using cat treats. Fortunately, she really likes those. But she'll be making this low growl, and if the treats get too close, she'll dart forward an inch to grab them. Plus she's a fast eater and can really wolf the things down. She'll also hiss at him if he moves, even if it's just to rearrange himself in the same spot. He's just terribly curious, but she's terribly defensive in response.

She's become more social with me in the last couple of days. She had been greeting me every time I'd walk in before she got sick, and I'm not sure if it was my having to forcibly pill her after she got home or the extreme heat or what, but she hadn't been doing that much since. She's started it again and is initiating more affection. I knew she would come around, because she was always comfortable around me and Siamese as a breed tend to be very affectionate and social. I'm also getting her to play with the toys more instead of spending most of her time behind the bed, like she's been doing. I'm hoping that as she becomes more actively social with me, it means she is adjusting and calming down and will be a little more receptive to Spoon, too. For now I'm trying to make sure they have at least one treat-mediated encounter a day which generally lasts until Dipity withdraws to the bed.

I think the next step is to resort to homeopathy. Some people swear by it, saying that lavender is especially calming. I already have two Feliway (feline facial pheromone) diffusers going.

---

¹Several years ago, a little boy named Benjamin moved in next door to my parents. Benjamin was fascinated by my parents' cats, which tended to disappear when he came around. After a couple years, he got a kitten named "Lulu." One day my mother asked his mother how Lulu was doing. Turns out Lulu was an imaginary kitten.

Spoonerisms: 28 Days Later

Day 29 of Serendipity here. Tomorrow will be the magical 30th day since her arrival. I already have an appointment to get her microchipped.

The Spoon socialization is still slow. I think it is moving forward, though, but in very, very small increments. The other day when I got in the shower, I forgot to close the bedroom door. When I got out of the shower, I freaked out a little, because I couldn't find Spoon. I finally did find him in the bedroom, lying on the floor about 2 yards from Dipity with my cd crates between them. She had to know he was there, but I was just glad he hadn't tried to get in her face. That's the kind of interaction they need; quiet time near each other. Unfortunately, when I decided to leave the door open later that day for a little while, Spoon got too nosy and there was a tiff. No injuries though, unlike when Pandora was training Spoon and he would always have at least one scratch on his nose for the first couple months. And I keep the water squirt bottle handy to break up anything. Spoon will usually back away just from the sound of it, now, without even getting wet.

Speaking of getting wet, as I've said, I don't have air conditioning in my bedroom, and I don't want to drag out the little kitty if she's going to be tense and nervous in the main room. She hasn't seemed interested in coming out, either. So, to keep her cool in the afternoon heat, as the temperature here has been in the upper 90s and higher the last week, I keep plastic water bottles in the freezer and leave them at the edge of her favorite spot on the far side of my bed. I thought that, while she would like to be close for the coolness, she wouldn't actually want to touch them because of the water condensation. But, no, she'll actually even use them as headrests! And I've also seen her lick off some of the condensation, so they're multi-functional. And, of course, I make sure there's plenty of fresh drinking water in her bowl.

She's not super-affectionate or snuggly, although that may be partially due to the heat. She does like getting her head scratched, but on her terms. She also really seems to like getting brushed. She doesn't shed nearly as much as Spoon, even on a per-square-inch basis, but I still pick up some loose fur. The important bit is the bonding/trust thing. Still, Spoon was the only new cat I'd gotten in the past 15 years, and he literally came out of the box super-snuggly and loving and trusting. I'd forgotten that many if not most cats need some more time to develop that bond. And Pandora didn't even become a snuggly lap cat until she was several years old, but once she started, she mastered it quickly. This little girl is still young and while she's certainly comfortable with my presence, she may never have been given an opportunity to bond with a receptive person before. I'm pretty sure that everything will work out at this point, though.

Spoonerisms: Well, That Didn't Last Long

Spoon has figured out how to get out of the harness by using any pull on the leash to back out of the thing. I guess the collar-less action works for dogs because they don't have those mushy-shoulder joints.

Meanwhile, Dipity is still scared of Spoon, but we spent awhile swapping places yesterday. She has a hidy place between the end of the sofa and the bookcase that she seems to feel pretty safe in. Maybe a little too safe -- I realized yesterday evening she'd been there a few hours, so I picked her up and took her back to the bedroom for some food and water. She may have really liked it or she may have been afraid to leave, I'm not sure. Anyway, I'm going to push the integration because it's getting hot here again, and there's no air conditioning in the bedroom, so it gets really uncomfortable there in the day. I'm just going to have to keep a close eye and, if necessary, a squirt bottle on Spoon. I know he's a good kitty, but he just gets so excited.

Spoonerisms: Meet Cuties

I'm still trying to get the little dipity kitty to give Spoon the time of day. Fluzz suggested putting a harness on to restrain Spoon so the new kitty can see him without seeing 16+ pounds of him coming straight at her. I dug out the harness I had gotten about two years ago when he was getting seriously fat and I decided to try giving him "walks" for exercise. That didn't last long. He freaked out as soon as we were outside. This from a cat who had supposedly lived outdoors in his previous life. Um, anyway, that harness is now way too small. Last night I went to the pet store and found one that would fit not in the cat section, where they only go up to 16" chest sizes (Spoon is more like 19"), but in the dog section. Spoon qualifies as a medium-sized dog. The new one is easier to get on, though, and must be more comfortable since it doesn't actually have a neck collar component.

The orange jumpsuit is next...

So I tried it out for the first time today. Spoon's not too happy, but he doesn't freak out, either. And I give him treats when I put it on so he'll think "harness == treats!" Dipity no longer really seems interested in trying to leave my bedroom, so I picked her up and took her out to the couch, where I gave her treats. She didn't seem too freaked out. Spoon made the occasional tug at the leash, but I had him firm. I decided to move his fat butt over to the opposite side of the couch (which I had to do by carrying him, because he responds to tugs on the leash by sitting down), but she thought that was a little too close for comfort, hissed a little, and went back to the bedroom, but she took her time instead of just freaking out and running.

I tried again later. This time I let her stay in the bedroom, but I got some ice cream ready. I secured the leash to where Spoon could see into the bedroom but couldn't get too close. That way Dipity could see him but he wouldn't look too big and threatening and couldn't charge. She was nervous and keeping an eye on Spoon, who didn't have much choice but to roll over and look pitiful on his leash. Then I gave her the ice cream dish, hoping she will now think "ice cream" when she sees Spoon. I'm sure most people actually do think "ice cream" when they see Spoon, although they probably think he's just eaten too much of it. Anyway, she didn't really hiss at Spoon, but she was circumspect. We sat around a little while and finally she decided she wanted to go under the bed, so I closed the door.

This is going to be slow-going. I just feel a little bad for Spoon because he can't sleep with me at night and he seems to be getting a little tense.

Spoonerisms: Kitteh Update

Oh, you weren't trying to read this, were you?

The little kitty seems to be recovering well. She really, really doesn't like getting pills shoved down her throat, but she only has a couple more days of antibiotics. She did throw up this morning, but she seems to have gorged herself when I fed her this morning, as she had run out of food during the night. I can't imagine how she thought she could fit that amount of food in her little belly. But she hasn't spent the night meowing pitifully at the open window for three nights running now, so I think she's getting used to the idea of being an indoor-only cat.

Spoon is getting antsy to meet her, but she still seems scared of the idea. I'm going to give her a few more days, at least until she finishes the trauma of twice-daily pilling and gets over any remaining sluggishness, as cats tend to be even more defensive when they don't feel well. I hope she adapts to him; Pandora did, although it took awhile, but she had the advantage of being here first, so it was her territory, and, well, of being the indomitable Pandora. Spoon just wants a buddy, but he's a big cat and he's so overeager that I can see how he'd be scary to a little kitty. I know he's a total pushover, but she doesn't.

And, well, I've decided that I guess she's pretty much mine. Even if someone came forward at this point, I did have that one caller who said she'd seen her for at least a month, so I could easily make a case of abandonment. So, meet Serendipity, the little Dipity Kitty.