Knittin' Crap: SFAC November 2014

This month, Q apparently got himself kicked out of the Q Collective again, and we have to help him adapt to being human.

Mission	Report
Command: Demonstrate your ability to follow orders by crafting something following a pattern without changing it.	Q needs to learn discipline and mental focus. Practitioners of some Old Earth religions used a visual tool called a “mandala” to help them focus. Making a mandala was often a painstaking process requiring exacting detail. I tried to demonstrate this kind of discipline to Q by following the directions for Sophie’s Garden exactly, changing colors on every row.
Engineering: Craft something that requires some decision making (something modified, or a pattern with different options).	Footwear. So many choices. Of course, Starfleet personnel are rather limited when they’re in uniform, but Q isn’t in Starfleet. He will soon have to learn to worry about things such as adequate toe room, arch support, and proper width, in addition to styles dictated by the occasion. If he ever decides to play the old Earth sport basketball (or decides to become a musician in the late 20th-century Earth style known as “punk rock”), he might need some Chucks. Then he’ll really be faced with lots of decisions, like color, low- or hi-rise, fabric… Eventually he’ll learn firsthand about the psychological stress of ”decision fatigue.” And that’s after a single pair of shoes.
Medical: Craft something to ward off aches and pains - e.g. make a stuffed doll to help Q feel better or craft bandages tor something to keep him warm.	Q frequently expressed exasperation with humanity (at the same time exhibiting a fascination that wouldn’t allow him to stay away) while he was Q. Now that he’s human, he’ll quickly learn the race is not only a source of mental pain to Q but to its own members as well. In other words, I give him 3 days tops before he gets a roaring headache, probably the throbbing forehead vein kind. Of course, another odd feature of the human race is the fact that many aches and ailments can sometimes be treated just as effectively by psychological tricks as by actual chemical medications. We call this mental trickery “the placebo effect.” This headband doesn’t actually have any inherent physical ability to reduce headache pain, but now that he’s human, a medical officer just needs to tell him that it will, and odds are his headache will dissipate shortly. He’ll just look a little dorky while he’s wearing it, but since he will almost certainly have given half the ship their own headaches by then, they’ll need the laugh (another effective treatment for minor ailments).
The Brig: Where Neverending Missions Finally End	This prisoner should have been a simple reform job, but it just refused to get buttoned up until I showed it what nice buttons I had picked out for it.

Sophie's Garden designed by Dedri Uys.

Crochet Baby Converse designed by Suzanne Resaul.

Cardigan pattern by Amanda Griffiths

Knittin' Crap: SFAC April 2014

I've been remiss in posting April's missions, but better late than never.

Mission	Report
Away Mission: A 3-month-long large scale project	We have detected yet another planet inhabited by a sentient humanoid race living in conditions akin to Earth’s Stone Age. I would like to study them in person. As remaining hidden from such a population is paramount to preservation of the Prime Directive, I will need foolproof camouflage. As we all know, using holography technology is the main method for doing so, in spite of its countless and sometimes catastrophic failures. I propose, therefore, becoming part of the scenery. This special bio-garment will make me appear to be part of the flora of the planet.
Command: Honor Starfleet captains by crafting something to represent one of these captains, or the captain of your own ship	Easily, the most storied Captain in Starfleet history was James T. Kirk. With this mission report, I make reference both to his ingenuity in battle and mercy in victory, when he was taken by the Metrons to do battle with a Gorn captain:
Medical: Craft something to conceal our medical technology or something to disguise anything that would look alien to them.	As there is no way for Medical Corps personnel to get a hypospray near the Veridians, they want to try dispensing essential medications orally. This bowl prototype is infused with antibiotics. By placing water or water in it, small amounts will leach into the contents and be consumed thusly.
Tactical: Craft something to represent the Veridian system as a whole or any of its six planets.	I chose to examine the sun of the Veridian system. I used both visible-to-human-eye filters and special radiation filters:
The Brig - Finishing UFOs (UnFinished Objects)	This prisoner was supposed to make a mission report last month but failed. I hoped some time in the brig would be an appropriate lesson about meeting deadlines, and I threw in an invasive quadruped for extra incentive. It's been rough, but the prisoner has found the prefect duty detail:

Kefalonia pattern by Marie Wallin
Needle felting bowl kit from Purl & Loop
Star pattern by Karolina Eckerdal
Cat Bed pattern by Caroline Hegwer

Knittin' Crap: SFAC October 2013

October projects are a little late going up because many of them had "extended" deadlines. This tour started with a visit to a really cold planet. Or something.

Mission	Report
Command: Prove your own understanding of the concept of duality: Craft an item made up of two parts (a pair of gloves or socks, for example), or two separate items which mirror each other in some way.	My mission report on duality may come from a slightly unintended angle. I thought not of the split personalities in the physical copies created by the transporter malfunction on the Enterprise at Alpha 177, but of what they represented: two aspects, however highly contrasted, contained within a whole. Once Captain Kirk was re-integrated, he still contained the contrasting personalities. This report demonstrates that quality: each side is the opposite of the other, but they are indivisible, part of a complete whole and the complement can always be spied from the other angle. This is also demonstrated by this invasive quadruped. On the one hand, he’s in a comfortable warm lap, yet the total coward side of his personality still shines through. At least he looks handsome modeling the mission report!
Diplomatic: Finish up your UnFinished Objects!	This UFO had been sighted on an earlier tour, but it seemed unspaceworthy and when we tried to catch it in the tractor beam, it disintegrated into balls of yarn. (Strange, but true.) I began working to recreate it in a more stable form in August, and have finally completed the facsimile. Status at beginning of the month: Completed mission:
Engineering: Craft – in black (or another dark color) – something which might be of use to a member of a Landing Party.	This device not only provides a high-contrast background for the dangerous ore, but particles passing through the detector pores in the fabric will automatically be analyzed and set off an alarm if they pose a threat, either to equipment or personnel.
Science: Craft an otherwise plain design, then add embellishment.	The trims on this simple torso-covering is made of a special fabric with self-activated chameleon-derived color changing pigments. They will automatically identify and display a series of horizontal and vertical bars to communicate the wearer’s identity, rank, and other salient information. Children start learning the patterns and color meanings from an early age, starting first with their parents, until they finally can read the information even for people they never met before. In times of danger, they can force the trim to assume the same coloration as the background ice-storm camouflage fabric to remain unseen. (A favorite prank of juveniles is to reprogram their identification trims to appear to be figures of authority. Obviously this works better when they’ve chosen a senior of the same height and build.)
Tactical: Craft something to prevent or treat frostbite.	My self-tested experiments have found that sipping and holding a container of a warm beverage or food helps warm the fingers and raise the comfort level of warm-blooded humanoids in cold conditions. Therefore I have programmed the replicators to make some nabeyaki udon, a Japanese noodle soup with multiple toppings.
The Brig	This prisoner was just in pieces at the beginning of the month. I gave it a good pep talk and told it to pull itself together already! Finally, it did.

Fisherman's Rib Muffler pattern by Kotomi Hayashi
Seamless Pullover recipe by Elizabeth Zimmermann
Begonia shawl pattern by Carfield Ma
Mosaic V-Neck Pullover pattern by Makiko Okamoto
Nabeyaki Udon pattern by Mitsuki Hoshi
Diamond Jacket pattern by DROPS

Knittin' Crap: Mission Wrap-Up

As I reported earlier, this Starfleet Fiber Arts Corps tour of duty included 4 missions each month, plus 6 missions (3 each for the Tactical and Command divisions) spanning all three months that entail looking into why we spent the previous tour stuck on a rock in the middle of BF nowhere.

I managed to finish all 12 of the month-long missions, plus 5 of the 6 longer term missions.

Division	My report
Command A: Craft something that will make you seem less intimidating to the villagers and thus aid you in your interviews. Craft something to make yourself appear friendlier or perhaps comical (who can be intimidated by someone who looks ridiculous?). Craft something to make it easier for the villagers to communicate with you; a way to leave messages without having to talk to you face to face. Craft a toy for the children so you can make the interview more like a game.	I decided to play on any tradition of hospitality the natives may have by pre-emptively bringing a lovely hostess gift, this floral arrangement:
Command B: Record your observations of the planet by crafting something unusual. It can be an item with an unexpected use of color, texture, or pattern or something that is unusual for your personality. If you normally knit clothing, try a home item. If you usually crochet, give knitting or sewing a try. If you normally craft accessories, try your hand at a larger garment (sweater, skirt, etc).	I decided to utilize a service cat for further exploration and data gathering. I created a hooded garment which would gather readings for telemetry and protect the cat. However, said service cat decided the horizontal stripes on the garment were not slimming, and barely had tried it on long enough for me to snap a holo-photo. ETA: Service cat finally agreed to try on the device again, but only as long as he could sit in my lap (his primary function, other than trying to trip me and break my neck) and I kept scratching his head. Clearly, this situation is not ideal for investigating the anomalies…
Command C: Craft something that will help you overcome their security and free the prisoners. Knit a weapon that will disarm, distract or subdue the warriors, crochet something that will disable the force field, craft something that will allow you to rescue the prisoners by stealth or cunning without the alerting warriors to your plans.	Oops...
Tactical A: Craft something to warn others of the danger of the energy dampening field – something yellow, red or shiny to serve as a warning beacon, a lace perimeter net to prevent ships from entering the energy dampening field, a map of the precise location of the planet for Starfleet database, or something that sends a warning message to ships nearby.	This large arrangement of menacing space flowers will serve to deter any errant ships. The flowers pose no threat to ships themselves but appear to wave off nearby moving objects because of their sensitivity to disturbances in the surrounding field of plasma. Also, the “L”, is, of course, the galactic warning symbol, even though it was never adopted on Earth.
Tactical B: Craft something demonstrating your research. Research the Ravelry pattern recommendation feature to find a pattern to try (the if you liked this pattern, you might like that one feature) or search the queue or favorites of one of your shipmates. Craft something using the pattern you found there (include a link to the original pattern or the crew member’s queue where you it). Bonus points if you make the item as a gift.	I found this design plan for a Ten Stitch Blanket in Pandalark’s queue and adapted it as a multi-modal diffraction grating to capture different metrics of the surrounding radiation. After I collected copious data for analysis, I gifted the grating, actually made of a soft fiber, to my cat:
Tactical C: “Dismantle” a project that isn’t working and rework the project into something that you like. You may rip the entire project and start over or just frog part of a project to correct a mistake, correct the fit or to change a design element that you just don’t like. You may also completely rip finished ugh projects so the yarn can be reclaimed.	I had somehow managed to complete the entire back piece of this special engineering shield before realizing my gauge had been completely off and that the cable fiber I had selected would not produce the required dimensions, or in fact dimensions suitable for any humanoid I know who is no longer required to sit in a car shuttle booster seat. (I cannot explain how I got so far before noticing the size discrepancy, except to say that I may have been exposed to some perception-altering radiation whose effects lasted several months.) I began to reclaim the cable fiber, then got distracted. That was, oh, at least 3 Earth years ago. Here is the state I left it in: I have now reclaimed the fiber, skeined it: washed and dried: and wound to prepare for re-use:

Cat Hoodie pattern by Kristin Roach
Ten-Stitch Blanket pattern by Frankie Brown

Knittin' Crap: December Missions

Division	My report
Diplomatic: Craft something “fancy” to wear to such an event (evening gloves, a shawl to go with evening dress, jewelry, a Klingon sash) or craft a festive decoration for one of these celebrations.	I have engineered these decorative flowers, to be pinned in my short hair, to diplomatic functions. Not only are they attractive, they also function to prevent electronic eavesdropping of any conversations I may have.
Engineering: Help the Chief test the replicators. Craft more than one of the same item, craft several similar items to be donated to charity or given as gifts, or craft more than one random item to indicate that the replicator still is not working properly in that area. (Must craft a minimum of 2 items for this mission.)	To test the replicator’s ability to make accurate reproductions of edible organic matter, I replicated a pea pod. The one on the left is the original, and the one on the right is the copy. I opened the replicated pod to ensure that the peas were fully formed, and they were.
Medical: It’s a tribble snag ’em-bag ‘em-and-tag ‘em. Craft something to capture the tribbles, to contain them, or to control their growth by inoculating them. Craft a net, a special cage or trap, or a device for inoculating large numbers of tribbles simultaneously. Use your imagination and show us your Starfleet ingenuity.	This modified grenade releases a mild general anesthetic that will render tribbles unconscious (not to mention unable to breed) for several hours, during with time they can be more easily collected.
Science: To complete the requirements for class, you must demonstrate your powers of observation. Observe an object and attempt to recreate it. Try to recreate something from a movie, museum, et cetera. Capture the color of a sunset or a stormy day. Recreate an everyday item from an unusual material.	I sought to render 3-D likenesses of two NCC-1701 Enterprise era personnel. First I chose Lt. Sulu. I decided for the second portrait to memorialize one of the unsung members of that crew, an Operations-division ensign, except even after researching the crewmember, I totally forgot his name and what he looked like…

Peas in a Pod pattern by Hansi Singh
Grenade pattern by Alison Hogg

Knittin' Crap: 2,000,000 Angry People With Pointy Sticks

Apparently the US Olympic Committee sent a cease-and-desist letter to Ravelry (posted here for people with Ravelry accounts, and reproduced in full on Gawker for those without) over use of the term "Ravelympics" for the knittin'-and-crochetin' tie-in event hosted on (but not officially sponsored by) Ravelry.

Needless to say, the floodgates have opened.

Yes, in less than 12 hours, it got onto Gawker. The letter is being dissected, denigrated, and worse, in many venues, but I'll pick out my two favorite little bits and leave it there.

We believe using the name “Ravelympics” for a competition that involves an afghan marathon, scarf hockey and sweater triathlon, among others, tends to denigrate the true nature of the Olympic Games. In a sense, it is disrespectful to our country’s finest athletes and fails to recognize or appreciate their hard work.

Really? There are athletes who are so petty and have so much time on their hands that they've told the USOC that they're upset by a bunch of afghans? (The insulation device, not the nationality.) I call shenanigans!

The Olympic Games represent ideals that go beyond sport to encompass culture and education, tolerance and respect, world peace and harmony.

Really? Because the whole letter sounds pretty disrespectful, especially since they do go out of their way to denigrate afghans (again, the insulation device, not the nationality) and the effort put into them.

With this post, I'm inaugurating a new tag: facepalm.

Karen, Captain, Team Minecraft, Ravelympics 2012 (so sue me, assholes)

Knittin' Crap: Team Minecraft 2012!

Yes, time is fast approaching for Ravelympics 2012, Ravelry's fiber-y answer to the Olympics. This year I've organized (to use the word loosely) Team Minecraft. We plan to dominate the events! Well, we plan to knit and crochet a lot, anyway.

Some of you may recall (but probably not), I managed to finish two sweaters for myself during Winter Ravelympics 2010. Of course, I was unemployed at the time. This year I have a somewhat challenging Japanese pattern picked out, but I need to swatch the yarn I have for it to make sure it will work. I'll be lucky to finish this time around. Of course, I do have a good bit of vacation time saved up...

Knittin' Crap: Starfleet Fiber Arts Corps, Month II

I've turned in all six missions again this month, although I still need to finish an older UFO (Unfinished Object) for extra points. This month Starfleet was visiting Orion, that planet of green people.

Division and Mission Requirements	My report
Diplomatic: The trading business is big on Orion, including the trafficking of slave girls. The Orion Syndicate is the main trading organization including honest traders, pirates, and smugglers. Illegal operations including theft, raids, extortion, and kidnappings were rampant. Craft something to aid in preventing and defending against the illegal happenings.	This fuzzy, colorful creature was found on the planet Arodnap Prime. While normally docile and harmless, it does have an unusual ability to sense deception and malice in other beings, and it responds by running rolling over to the wrongdoers and clamping on with its teeth while emitting a high-pitched shriek. Their small size means they can hide undetected until a crime takes place. Of course, in our tests, they’ve also been known to attack cheating spouses when they overhear them lying to their mates about their whereabouts for the evening, or subordinates fudging their progress reports to their superiors, so the creatures must be deployed with care. Or not. It is interesting to note that there are archaeological traces of an ancient sentient race on Arodnap Prime, with the latest buildings being large, defensive structures where almost every small opening was sealed to the outside, but with no apparent damage from war or natural disaster. We can only wonder at this point about the source of their demise.
Tactical: Make something green to fit in/ scout among the locals if needed.	This small charm may appear to be an invaluable, meticulously carved piece of jade, but in reality, it can also generate a holographic projection altering the coloration of the wearer, making it much simpler to blend in to Orion society.
Medical: Orion women are known to give off pheromones that excite males of almost any species (Vulcans, however are immune). Spikes in adrenaline and even disruption of ones sleep cycle, not to mention the negative effect on other females are all a side effect of these chemicals that the orion females produce. Craft something to keep people “chill.” Head over to science to prevent this from happening at all. Craft something calming.	Sheep are very docile animals, and there’s also an old Earth practice that people having trouble relaxing or falling asleep should count sheep. This is sheep #1 to help in that exercise: Demonstration of relaxation on male feline test subject:
Security: The Orion males are quite the specimens to behold. Even though they are subservient to the females, they could most likely take down our human counterparts. Mission: Craft something to help beef up or give our men courage and not feel quite so intimidated.	Bears represent strength and courage to many Earth cultures through the centuries. This ferocious-looking bear will inspire Starfleet men to great feats, but it also houses a device which emits waves which suppress thoughts of fear. However, to function properly it must be worn attached to the head, thus I have attached a handy device which will secure to hair. If men aren’t brave enough to buck gender stereotypes by wearing barrettes, their hairy butts have no place in Starfleet to begin with.
Science: The dancing of an Orion female is intoxicating to males. This can be counterproductive for when male Starfleet officers need to take care of missions without their minds being clouded. Break out the chemistry set and find out what makes those pheromones work and find a possible way to counteract them. Head over to Medical to treat the side effects. Mission: Craft something that counteracts these pheromones and protects males from losing their senses.	Starfleet scientists have genetically modified this common Orion ornamental vine for this month’s Science Mission. The pollen from the flowers in the altered vine will seek out and preferentially bind to the Orion female pheromones, thus preventing their uptake by humans.
Command: Even though it appears that Orion females are slaves to the men, in actuality, the females control everything through the use of their skill of seduction and highly potent pheromones. Make something representative of a strong female in either Star Trek, history, or literature.	'Nuff said.

Pattern sources:

• Dragon charm pattern from a Japanese amigurumi charms book
• Sheep finger puppet pattern by Jellybums
• Rilakkuma pattern from Japanese Rilakkuma craft book
• Vine pattern from Japanese crochet motif and edgings book

Knittin' Crap: My First Mission Report

Last month I reported that I had joined the Starfleet Fiber Arts Corp on Ravelry. Today I turned in my first mission report. This month's Culture Mission was the report to Mr Spock on an historical Earth form of entertainment. My report follows:

Ensign Fuzzykaren from the USS Kitchener reporting in on her very first mission to Mr Spock!

My research into early 21st century Earth showed a strange and rather barbaric fascination with vengeful birds of various species attacking green pigs¹. The phenomenon seems to have begun in the Arctic nation formerly called Finland. People were so fascinated by the behavior that a simulation was made for the electronic leashes known as "smartphones" and it soon spread throughout the world, sucking untold hours from the human race.

This is one of the discombobulated avians:

---

¹These seem to be extinct now, but I must wonder if they were the source of the green ham referred to in the pictorial histories of the (also mononymous) Seuss, PhD.

Knittin' Crap: To Boldly Go Where I Probably Shouldn't

I just signed up for enlisted in the Starfleet Fiber Arts Corp on Ravelry. I'm probably opening myself up for a world of hurt, but at least I picked the gold uniform!

What is this madness, you say? I'm not sure, either. But according to the group page:

Welcome to the 24th century! As members of Starfleet, all players will begin the game as ensigns and be assigned to a starship. Complete monthly missions, advance in rank, earn medals and commendations and more!

Where, of course, missions involve making yarny stuff.

If you don't hear from me, you may need to check the casualty rosters for my name.

Minecraft: Coming Soon! Ms Frog's Crazy Drive!

I've started working on a theme park ride in my backyard on the Ravelry server. Here's the progress so far:

Knittin' Crap: Rescue Nests

Last fall I sent a dozen of these rescue nests to Valley Wildlife Care in the San Fernando Valley. They take in injured and ill wild animals and nurse them to health with the hopes of releasing them back into the wild. I found the pattern on Ravelry and hoped VWC could get some use out of them. Additionally, since big box acrylic is ideal for the nests both for its durability and washability, I could use up a lot of the stuff I had and hate to death.

I guess they're getting a lot of use of the things, too, because they've asked me for more. I started working on them again, because I still have plenty of that despised acrylic, except I had forgotten how slow-going they are to make. The gauge needs to be really tight so little legs don't poke through and get stuck, and cheap acrylic is painful enough to begin with. Ouch. As long as I break it up into short sessions, though, I can get them done. And it's for the little baby animals!

Anyway, for those who also have acrylic yarn they'd like to use up and to help a good cause (there are plenty of these rescue groups all over; you can find one near you, too), Laurie Bailty has posted the pattern here, free for non-profit use, for both crocheted and knitted versions.

Minecraft: RavWorld L-Train

I have now combined my obsessions with public transportation, Minecraft, and yarn into one! This holiday weekend I made an elevated train for the Ravelry Minecraft group server.

Here's the loop, counterclockwise:


The loop, clockwise, at night:


And the first RavWorld L-Train multi-player accident, caught on film!

Minecraft: Build Mania

I started playing on another server associated with Ravelry a couple weeks ago. I've built a glass McMansion, complete with greenhouse wing, petting zoo wing, and giant weird water-and-lava globe:









Yesterday, thanks to this sudden sore throat which left me without enough energy to leave the couch, I finished my giant gumball machine:



In other minecraft news;

• This awesome live-action Minecraft short:
  
• Minecraft has hit the big time! It's had its own xkcd strip!
  
• I am totally adding Minecraft to my resume:
  
  see more TDW Geeks