Knittin' Crap: SFAC December 2014

This month, our surprise visitor was the avaricious Ferengi Quark.

Mission	Report
Diplomatic: Craft a gift to show good will to one of the negotiating parties.	Yellow lilies are thought by some to represent merriment and joy. As this Quark seems to be trying to get everyone to have “fun” by plying us all with what I strongly suspect is non-synthehol liquor and encouraging us play these games designed around gambling, I bio-replicated some yellow lilies to represent the mood.
Medical: Craft something that demonstrates the effects of a food or drug on different species taking part in the negotiations.	I took this bioluminescent vine from Alpha Beta Prime and genetically modified it to detect the presence of certain neuroactive substances, at which point that will light up. We can use it to decorate the chairs and tables where it will simply look like part of the decor. Note the following holographs which show the flowers lighting up when some otherwise undetected compound is present: While here it remains unlit in the presence of my totally-not-neuroactive invasive quadrupeds:
Tactical: Craft something to help keep up with the stream of information (an AI assistant, a discreet lie detector, etc.)	This basket was designed both to carry Starfleet PADDs and to automate the pre-processing and upload into Starfleet data banks of the information they carried. However, someone in the Starfleet Engineering Quartermaster’s office apparently decided to change the specifications of their Chroma Data Cables without telling us, so the basket failed to meet the specifications.

Knittin' Crap: SFAC November 2014

This month, Q apparently got himself kicked out of the Q Collective again, and we have to help him adapt to being human.

Mission	Report
Command: Demonstrate your ability to follow orders by crafting something following a pattern without changing it.	Q needs to learn discipline and mental focus. Practitioners of some Old Earth religions used a visual tool called a “mandala” to help them focus. Making a mandala was often a painstaking process requiring exacting detail. I tried to demonstrate this kind of discipline to Q by following the directions for Sophie’s Garden exactly, changing colors on every row.
Engineering: Craft something that requires some decision making (something modified, or a pattern with different options).	Footwear. So many choices. Of course, Starfleet personnel are rather limited when they’re in uniform, but Q isn’t in Starfleet. He will soon have to learn to worry about things such as adequate toe room, arch support, and proper width, in addition to styles dictated by the occasion. If he ever decides to play the old Earth sport basketball (or decides to become a musician in the late 20th-century Earth style known as “punk rock”), he might need some Chucks. Then he’ll really be faced with lots of decisions, like color, low- or hi-rise, fabric… Eventually he’ll learn firsthand about the psychological stress of ”decision fatigue.” And that’s after a single pair of shoes.
Medical: Craft something to ward off aches and pains - e.g. make a stuffed doll to help Q feel better or craft bandages tor something to keep him warm.	Q frequently expressed exasperation with humanity (at the same time exhibiting a fascination that wouldn’t allow him to stay away) while he was Q. Now that he’s human, he’ll quickly learn the race is not only a source of mental pain to Q but to its own members as well. In other words, I give him 3 days tops before he gets a roaring headache, probably the throbbing forehead vein kind. Of course, another odd feature of the human race is the fact that many aches and ailments can sometimes be treated just as effectively by psychological tricks as by actual chemical medications. We call this mental trickery “the placebo effect.” This headband doesn’t actually have any inherent physical ability to reduce headache pain, but now that he’s human, a medical officer just needs to tell him that it will, and odds are his headache will dissipate shortly. He’ll just look a little dorky while he’s wearing it, but since he will almost certainly have given half the ship their own headaches by then, they’ll need the laugh (another effective treatment for minor ailments).
The Brig: Where Neverending Missions Finally End	This prisoner should have been a simple reform job, but it just refused to get buttoned up until I showed it what nice buttons I had picked out for it.

Sophie's Garden designed by Dedri Uys.

Crochet Baby Converse designed by Suzanne Resaul.

Cardigan pattern by Amanda Griffiths

Knittin' Crap: SFAC October 2014

This tour opened with a promotion. I am now Captain of the USS Kitchener!

We apparently have a guest, the flamboyant Luxwana Troi, so most of our missions revolved around keeping her happy and out of trouble.

(Post delayed because the Medical Mission disappeared into a Temporal Rift and only just reappeared.)

Mission	Report
Command - Craft a head covering for Lwaxana.	This headband may not be, um, haute couture enough for Lwaxana, but I have no doubt she can work it better than Dip, who just looks annoyed at being a fashion model. Or Lwaxana can try to wear Dip on her head, but I doubt that would work out too well.
Engineering - Craft something to cover Lwaxana’s torso.	Not many people these days can pull off a cape, but Lwaxana is certainly one of them. Therefore, I made this, um, cape for her.
Medical - Craft something to keep Lwaxana’s hands steady and/or warm.	This basket was designed to provide multiple uses for Luxwana. She can use it as a receptacle to hold various items, she can even put her hands inside for additional warmth, and if she gets on Captain Picard’s nerves, the many straps can be used to, um, subdue her.
Tactical - Craft a fabulous accessory for Lwaxana to wear!	This, um, accessory can be worn in a variety of ways. On the arm, around the neck, over the hair. It can even be a meta-accessory, accessorizing a small quadruped species with which Lwaxana may accessorize herself, as seen below. (In this case, a not-that-small quadruped.)

Knittin' Crap: SFAC August 2014

Mission	Report
Command: Craft something that will make your job easier. A cushion for your chair? A shawl to keep the draft off in your office? A mug cozy to keep your hands comfortable while sipping a bottomless raktajino?	Something that would make all that research I need to do easier would be…. The Internet.
Medical: Continue your research on Phoenar plant life from earlier in this tour by determining whether it is edible for humanoids and what its nutritional value is. Is it a good source of vitamins and minerals? Is it poisonous to Andorians? Does it promote brain development in Vulcans? Do some tests to find out and finish your report on Phoenar plant life.) (Repair a project or finish a WIP.)	The phloem of the Phoenar plants inspired me to finish this addition to my uniform: At the beginning of the month:
Tactical: Assist the Tactical officers by crafting something to protect the ship or alert you if something goes wrong!	When the ship’s alerting system goes off these headbands will constrict…. painfully. Very hard to miss.
Away Mission - 3-month-long project	I have received a secret communique from an agent from the Romulan government who has information that could be vital to future diplomatic relationships between his empire and the Federation. He wants me to meet him on Vino Prime, but his situation is so precarious that we cannot make actual verbal contact or be caught sending and receiving and transmissions. However, we should still be able to make visual contact, although because we will be under constant surveillance, messages must be hidden in plain sight. This special garment may look like a simple, repeating abstract design, but to the knowing eye, the design can carry secret messages. If my Romulan counterpart can find his own method of steganography, this mission could lead eventually to improved relations between the two governments. Completed mission:

Knittin' Crap: SFAC July 2014

Mission	Report
Diplomatic: Converse with the Aldeans and the Caldonians to discover why this radiation is important to them. Counselor Troi has indicated that they seem to be withholding something… Craft something to trick them OR gain their trust.	The Caldonian eyes and visual cortex seem to respond to colors in a way similar to humans. They subconsciously find cool colors calming. This panel, used as a backdrop for Counselor Troi, with its soothing colors arranged in subtly undulating lines, will make them more amenable to being honest.
Engineering: Find the source of the energy readings by conducting a search. There are three standard search methods used: triangulation, radial, and standard sweep. Choose one of these three and craft something that has a triangular shape, is worked in the round, or is worked in stripes to show the results of your search.	I began analysis with a radial scan, but then the computer got in a mood and… told me to take a number. I have a feeling I’ll be waiting awhile for the final results.
Medical: Help the medical team with their assessment of the radiation threat.	I propose we send in this Red Shirt brainless human clone to test the effect of the radiation on humanoid tissues.
Tactical: Craft something that protects the user from the environment.	The undulating wiring of this headgear should interfere with any wave-form radiation and render it harmless.
Shuttle: Due to an unexpected radiation spike from Phoenar Prime, our ship has experienced a warp core breach. If we cannot fix the problem in under an hour, the engines will overload. Craft a speedy solution for the warp core breach. Hurry! Your solutions must be completed in under one hour or else - BOOM!	This sun hat probably won’t prevent the warp core breach, but at least it will help shade my eyes from the blast when I’m down on Phoenar Prime.

Jujuba pattern by Norah Gaughan
Headband stitch pattern and sun hat barrette motifs from Japanese book Lace Crochet Best Motifs 238