Knittin' Crap: My Obituary

Time of death: Approximately 8:15 Thursday morning
Where: at the box holder package pick up window
Whodunnit: The Emerald Warrior
Instrument of death:

I was lying there, on the post office floor. And the janitor hadn't gotten a chance to mop it yet. Ew.

I duly reported my death to the appropriate authorities, then put myself on the zombie waiting list. I have just received the dossier for my head-to-head opponent. The first one whose lethal amigurumi arrives at the target's door survives.

Time to get sharpen my crochet hook and get to work.

Other: Welcome to the Whiteboard Jungle (Plus special Knittin' Crap extra!)

For reasons better left unexplained, my group at work somehow ended up with animal versions of ourselves on the giant whiteboard in Mr Bob's cubicle. No one was allowed to choose their own animal, except for Bob, but he chose the animal we would have chosen for him anyway.


For reasons better left unexplained, I ended up drawing most of the animals.

Trust me; I am not very good. For reasons left unexplained to me, I was elected a frog. Dan-the-invisible-giant-rabbit

chose it, then drew a frog which was so bad, a pre-schooler would have been ashamed of it. So I drew my own frog.


Hansen is the only person not in our group who has an official portrait.

(He drew a doubly-aprocryphal animal for someone else; doubly both because we did not sanction it and the person chose her own animal.) Hansen is the meerkat. Hansen is the meerkat always popping up in our cubicles and driving us nuts. Don't get us wrong; we love Hansen. As long as he is bugging someone in some other group. Hansen's alter ego is a gnat; he's also buzzing around, driving you nuts, and it's impossible to swat him away.

I did make a pleasant discovery earlier this week. The incredible limbless ninja

I made from the book Creepy Cute Crochet doubles as Hansen repellent! I was showing it around, realized I hadn't gotten all the Spoon-supplied white cat hairs off, and picked one off. Hansen, ever-present, jumped back.

He's allergic to cat fur.

Ninja pattern from Creepy Cute Crochet by Christen Haden

Knittin' Crap: Smackdown Update!

Somehow I'm still alive. My target had already killed her target, who had already killed her target, so I've sent email and am waiting for that person's target dossier.

I did have a scare. I used my post office box as my mailing address since it's larger than my home box and, if a package doesn't fit and I get a slip, much easier to make pick ups than the post office which handles delivery for my home, because the post office is right next to my bus stop. (The post office with my box is .5 miles away. The post office that delivers to my home and where I have to pick up packages that don't fit in my box is 1.6 miles away, and a nasty drive, with no parking, at that.)

Wednesday I got off the bus after work and checked my box... and there was a yellow package notice! Aaaaagh!!!! I hadn't ordered anything! There was nothing else it could be, other than my death knell!

When I went to pick up the package in the morning, it was a book that had been backordered from my book club. Oh.

Other: You Know Your Mother Misses You...

... when she can't figure out the DVD player.

Let's talk today or tomorrow. I need you to tell me how to use the DVD player in the family room..... Love, Mom

Knittin' Crap: It's Smackdown Time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guess who didn't have paper for her printer. Well, it forced me to "recycle" the backs of all those test sheets I keep around because I can't really throw them out.

I'm getting ready to rumble!

Crap. I have to patch a work server in 40 minutes. That better not take long.

UPDATE: 12:22PM. This is the pattern I'm using. There were two choices. The other one was super cute, too, but looked like more work. I'm taking a break and icing down my crochet hook hand. I've finished the head (the biggest piece) and have started the body. Between starting over twice to change hooks (I started with a G, thought the gauge was too loose, moved to an F, where the gauge was definitely too tight, then went back to the G, which is actually all right), patching our nameserver, and not being a morning person, I still might have this done on time to put in the mail today. (I'm hoping my assassin hasn't found my blog... hmm...)

UPDATE: 2:21PM. Waylaid by injury! Well, actually, I have an unpleasant headache. The belated breakfast I ate and the Excedrin should help. The post office on Vermont in Los Feliz is open until 4, and I could probably get it done and there in time, but, but I'm not going to push it. It will have to wait until Monday morning. I guess I just don't have that killer instinct.

UPDATE: I finished around 6PM.