Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Misc: Brain Death by TV

While visiting my aunt and uncle, I was exposed to the.... indescribableness of the "reality" show on "Animal" Planet, "Finding Bigfoot."

We tuned in a few minutes early, apparently, so we got to see the last 5 minutes of "The Real Rednecks of Mississippi" "Gator Boys," which featured the "boys" wrassling a blind gator that didn't look all that huge to begin with. This is supposed to be impressive? Oh, apparently they rescued the blind gator and nursed it back to health so that, what, a redneck who eats too much saturated fat could sit on it and pry its mouth open for audiences?

Anyway, "Finding Bigfoot" features a bunch of people who apparently got dropped on their heads as infants too many times, and the token woman/scientist, credited as being a "field biologist." This episode saw the team go "squatching" in the Colorado Rockies, where "what may be" the oldest film of a 'squatch was recently made public, a bit of 8mm B&W film made in 1962 from a Boy Scout camp. Of course, since it was made 50 years ago and the camp no longer exists, they can't be certain where it was filmed, so there's no scale, and it looks to me like a big guy in a long, dark coat hopping around, but apparently I'm just a fuddy-duddy.

They then have a "town meeting" with various locals and ask if any have seen or heard any 'squatches. Note that they don't ask "what may have been a sasquatch." They don't even equivocate in their questioning the camera-happy locals. At least a dozen people raise their hands. They then proceed to "investigate" the most promising sightings, including one by a father and his teenage daughter. Apparently they had climbed up a peak to get better cell phone reception, and then they saw something "squatchy" from a distance (of course). Note that even though they had at least one cell phone (and since there was a teenage girl involved, I can't believe they didn't have two), neither one apparently tried to take pictures. Uh-huh.

Anyway, the team would "examine" the evidence and stage "recreations." There seems to be a recurring theme that the "field biologist" would generally say that the evidence was not persuasive, but one of her companions would invariably say the same evidence was sound. That field biologist has way more restraint than I would in the same situation if she's not on camera every 5 minutes calling the morons "dumbasses."

Anyway, the episode ended with the team trying to use a bunch of Girl Scouts as 'squatch "bait." Right. Because a bunch of shrieking pre-teen girls isn't going to send the thing running.

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